Things I never once thought I would say.

I have composed a short list of things I have said, sentences that I had no idea were even sentences until I had children. Words put together that I never, for the life of me, imagined would come out of my mouth. They are as followed.

#1 actually just came out of my mouth.....

1) Don't lick the fireplace.

2) No, it isn't okay to pee-pee on the dog.

3) Bram, you can't honk girl's boobies.

4) Tess, those are your brother's undies, why don't we put your princess panties on?

5) An entire roll of toilet paper does NOT need to be used to wipe your hiney, I'm teaching you to use the plunger.

6) Those are NOT Numchuks! (as Bram comes in with two unwrapped tampons, whipping them around by the strings.)

7) Bram, go smell your sister and let me know if she is poop.

8) You can't eat bugs! It is never okay. Spit it out. Now.

9) Hi, Poison Control. It's me again......

10) You do not have to announce every single time you touch your penis. Please.

Yep. Some crazy shenanigans up in here. Loving every second of it. Sad thing is, I am serious, I have called Poison Control more than I care to admit.

But because I want to share the information, the following things ingested by a small child, are not going to kill anyone, but still call your local Poison Control:

1) a cigarette butt

2) ibuprofen

3) chalk

4) Desitan

5) baby oil

6) Aquaphor

7) a candle

8) the little packets of silicon that come in shoe boxes and such.

Nice, huh? And a majority of those were consumed by my pretty little princess tangeriene.

Oh, the joys of motherhood. Spent mostly with your tail between your legs.

SO, Hubby is off today, hopefully the weather will cooperate and we can spend most of the day outside. Nothing planned. We had a great weekend. I had a fabulous weekend.

I jetted off on Saturday to Lake LBJ to meet up with two of my girlfriends. It was a lot of fun, very relaxing. The lakehouse belongs to my friend, Tiffany's family. It was built in the late 60's/early 70's and seriously, has not been updated since. Which is awesome.

While I was going tinkle in the downstairs bathroom, I noticed that the pulls on the bathroom cabinets are AWESOME, so very Coco. Bright green enamel. VERY 70's. And since I am redoing my kitchen cabinets white and adding pulls.......light bulb went off!

I asked Tiffany if I could have them. She called her mother and I am now the proud owner of 40 year old bright green enamel pulls for my kitchen. I just have to go get them and replace them with some basic Home Depot variety. I am oddly excited!!!! It's the little things.

Everyone have a fabulous Monday off.

ta-ta for now.

I am serious

I want to adopt some Haitian babies. This is breaking my heart. I need to sit down and have a serious discussion with the Hubs regarding this matter.

I want to go to Haiti, take the first two I see. I want to hug them and tickle their backs to put them to sleep. They have to be exhausted.

Or just let them sleep in my arms as I rock them and pat their backs.

Give them warm bubble baths and then put them in soft pajamas.

Put a movie on while they cuddle on the couch under a blanket. Sippy cups of milk and a bowl of goldfish or popcorn in their laps.

Then off to a warm, clean bed. Where they fall asleep and wake up to a home. Not scared, not alone.

With me.

Miss Indepent, Home Improvement & Random Thoughts Friday

Happy Friday!!!! It is raining and pouring here in the beautiful Texas Hill Country. For now, this is not a problem, Tess and Bram have recently taken a shine to PLAY-DOH!

Never before have either one of my gumdrops shown even a tiny bit of interest toward this delightful dough. I am seriously going to have to go buy lots more, it is keeping them occupied for HOURS! Leaving me lots of time to catch up on "The Real Housewives of OC" and "Jersey Shore."

I kid, I kid. I am actually having a joyful time playing with the play-doh as well.

While keeping one eye on the television.

Moving on, Miss Tess is starting to dress herself.
As much as I want to turn her britches around, this is how they are going to stay. She was so proud of herself!

AND moving on, I decided to paint the back of my built ins turquoise. Below is the finished product.

I can't figure out a way to photograph pictures of my home. They never turn out very good, and this looks just fantastic, if I do say so myself. I am going to display some simple white ironstone platters on the top shelf. I had all of my hurricanes up there but I want to show of the turquoise.

Below is kind of what they looked like before I had scrapbook paper glued on the back. It was a lot harder getting that stuff off than I expected. I also had to take the television out.

I almost dropped it. That would of been bad and I would of been homeless. And yes, that is Ty from "The Real World, DC" I have been sucked in. 23 years and counting. Damn it!

Another fun thing I did was empty all of my hurricanes and now they are being used as picture frames.

Cute idea, no?

Now on to random thoughts:

1) I wish I could adopt a Haitian baby that lost his/her parents in the earthquake. I thought about this all night last night. My biggest fear is my children being scared. A child being scared breaks my heart more than anything in the world. I just want to hold those poor children and let them know it is all going to be okay.

2) My goal of 2009 was accomplished. I now only own Hanky Panky panties. It was a long hard road, but I did it. No other brand of undies resides in my panty drawer. If you haven't tried Hanky Panky, you are missing out.

3) I love having an indoor cat. Pedra is so easy and loveable. I do not, however, like the litter box. In fact, I have actually thrown up twice cleaning it out. Nothing and I mean NOTHING is more gross than cat poop. And Pedra has missed her box more than once.

4) My kids often request, "Michael Finn" in the car. "Michael Finn" is Depeche Mode. Why is Depeche Mode called Michael Finn? I have absolutely no idea. So if you are ever in the car with my two little weirdos and one of them happens to request some "Michael Finn" just pop in a Depeche Mode cd and you will be good to go.

5) I didn't have my Zoloft for two weeks, my doctor moved to Austin and I had to go in and see her replacement. So I just kept forgetting to do it. I don't like not being on my medication. I don't like having anxiety. It makes me feel mean and hateful in my heart. I am back on my Zoloft and feel like Coco again. Modern medicine is amazing.

6) If you are feeling especially generous today, please go here, read about, and participate in the neatest, most inventive non profit organization for kids. An organization that I am involved in. Camp Phoenix could use your help. Any tiny bit helps.

That is all I have for today. Not a lot planned this weekend, so it will be nice to sit around with the family.

Have a wonderful weekend!!

ta-ta for now!

Do something nice today.

As most of you know, I like to write pretend letters to major corporations and famous people (and non famous people) that I never send.

What you may not know is I do however send some letters and make phone calls, quite a bit, to places of business. I ask to speak to the manager and I tell them how I feel.

Because of me, Big Gulps now fit in your car's cup holders. Because of me, you can buy bags of ice at Sonic. Because of me, People magazine is including more "real life" people and "feel good" stories, like they did back in the day.

Right now I am working on the Mod Podge folks. The mouth of their containers need to be larger for larger paint brushes. I have yet to hear back from anyone.

You're welcome.

I never call with complaints. I don't want someone to get in trouble if they were just having a bad day. I always call with suggestions and compliments.

I did this yesterday. I called, spoke to the manager and complimented Brad. Brad is about 19 years old, tons of tats, lots of piercings and was the most helpful little bugger at the grocery store!

I needed leaks for a recipe. There were no leaks. Brad was busy stocking fruits and I asked, "If there are no leaks, what do I use?" I didn't think Brad would know.

Brad did NOT know.

However, Brad said, "Hmmmm, I will be right back."

Brad came back with a book in hand and was reading it, "Well, it says here that leaks are part of the onion family. The sweetest variety. So I suggest using these." And he pointed to a type of large green sweet onion.

"Thanks, Brad!" I said, and went on my way.

Later, I called the grocery store and spoke to the manager. I told them that what Brad did was above and beyond what was necessary but because of him, my recipe was delish.

Not only did I feel good, the manager felt great. And I am certain Brad is going to feel really good with a nice pat on the back.

Also, yesterday, I dealt with Blaine Ashley. Long story short, !HOLY TOLEDO! customer service at its best. It made my day. MADE MY DAY! I will be shopping with them for a long time and I recommend you do the same.

Is this a dorky post? Yep. But two people doing not only what they are supposed to do but doing a little extra, really made me smile. It really put me in a good mood.

A lot of people complain and complain and complain and never compliment. So today, if someone does something a little extra. Let them know how you feel about it!

ta-ta for now!!

We are all winners. Aren't we?

Well no, not really. Especially in the case of the "The Food You Crave" cookbook bonanza lovah undercovah supercalifragilisticexpialidocious high fivin' giveaway!!!

I only have one winner. Sorry.

But in my heart. You are all winners.

First, I have to show you Bram's new haircut. I was sick and tired of having a four year old's head of hair kick my ass every morning. And win. So, when I took Tess in for her darling little bob, I had them cut Bram's lovely locks off.

Boo-hoo.

Not. I was ready to see those bad boys go.

Handsome devil. Looks JUST like his daddy with this 'do.

He likes it. So we are all happy.

Bram also found it quit an honor that I let him chose the winner. He found it such an honor, he went and put his KU jersey on. Just for the drawing, the KU jersey is special.

So here we are. All of the names personally handwritten, with love, on cute scrapbook paper. And placed inside MamaSue's gorgeous milk glass basket that is on loan. Isn't it lovely? She has lots and is giving it all to me. Except this basket. Pretty sweet of her, huh? For those of you that don't, know MamaSue and I are cousins. She isn't some random blogger giving me her milk glass collection. BUT if some random blogger feels they have some milk glass or mercury glass OR even some carnival glass that they would like to give away...to me. I am totally okay with that.

But I digress, where were we? Oh yes, look at the pretty paper in the pretty bowl.


Bram reaches in.


He mixes the paper all around, as instructed by his oh so lovely Momma.

He makes a selection! (Please notice Hubby in the background. He is excited. He really is.)

Ta-Da!!!!

Momma to the A's, please email your address and I will get this cookbook in the mail as soon as possible. How exciting.

Oh, and if Casey makes any comment on this post or on your blog regarding how long it takes me to mail things. Ignore her. She is just huffy she didn't win. She even asked me to cheat for her. But I was all like, "Casey? No way! That is lying. How dare you ask me!!!" I'm just honest like that. And pretty.
She's the bad one.

Congrats Momma to the A's! Do you feel super cool? I never win anything, so I will rejoice in your happiness.

That's all I got today folks.

Smooches.

ta-ta for now!!!

Who are you calling little?

Coco and Bro. New Year's Day 2010. Pretty, it very clearly runs in our family.

Guess who is getting married? Have I not mentioned it yet?

So? Can you guess who it is? Huh? Huh?

No silly, not me!!!!! The hubs is stuck with me. Pray for him. Every night.

My little brother is getting hitched. LITTLE BROTHER! All 6'7 of him. Pretty cute, eh?

Sorry ladies, like I said, he is getting married. To Sara. And I think my family is in love with her almost as much as he is.

Congratulations you mo' fo'! And of course to the new mo'fo-ette. Smooches!

and on another note, y'all go to Bonbon Rose for their giveaway. I NEVER mention giveaways, but I have recently discovered these two and have not been sorry. My bank account has been sorry. But me? Not so much.

Fabulous finds with fabulous style. And they will find you the deals. The deals on all things hip and cool. You will be the best dressed mom on the block. or town. or county. even state. probably the country. quit possibly....the world. Promise.

this is totally random, but when I yawn, I hear an accordion. I wonder why that is?

Ta-ta for now!!!!

A new concept in birth control...

Dear all Independent School District people that are in charge,

As a parent of two young children that will soon be entering the wonderful Public school systems, MFISD to be exact, I have an idea that I believe is inventive, forward thinking, and I am most certain it will be extremely effective.

It is a known fact that teenage pregnancy is rampant in this country. These crazy kids aren't thinking of the repercussions that could and most often do happen when engaging in sexual activity out of wedlock.

Babies are made. And while everyone loves a cute baby, cute babies grow up and want to be taken to places like:

I suggest each freshman entering high school take a mandatory class titled, "Hell to the NO."

"Hell to the NO," will be a class held off campus at the nearest Chuck E. Cheese. Here, these 14 and 15 year olds can experience first hand their future if they keep up this promiscuous activity.

I also suggest the "Hell to the NO" class be held during lunch hours and the students must eat the food that is served at Chuck E. Cheese. This will also prove to be a huge deterrent with the sex.

Thank you Independent School District people, I appreciate your time in this matter.

Sincerely,
Coco

Can y'all guess where the Cocos went on Sunday?

We had a family day in Austin and it was actually lots o' fun. The Cocos are smart and we ate at Waterloo where I ate the best veggie sandwich EVER! And had a mimosa before we headed off to the Chuck E. Cheetos (as Tess calls it). It was a mad house, but for just $20 in tokens, we played for two hours and the kids had a ball.

It isn't all about me. It really isn't.

Sigh.

The weather is most definitely warming up, and for this I am very thankful. I would also like to apologize to God and Jesus for possibly talking ugly to them this past August. I really don't mind it being over 100 degrees for an entire month. I really don't. Sorry about what I said God.
And baby Jesus.

Some pics from our weather imposed house arrest:

Thanks Auntie Abby for the bucket of make-up.

Please remember, sweet Abby, pay backs are HELL!


Can someone explain to me when my 4 year old became Jay-Z?

I love me some J like the next person. But I can ASSURE you, Bram doesn't listen to Jay-Z. That is the last thing this world needs right now.

Look at the peace sign? Wwwwhhhhaaatttt? And he is getting my little grape of a princess to dress like "Little T" or something.

So glad I spend buckets of money on Mini Boden, Baby Lulu, Baby Nay, Oilily and so on......

But my little tamale loves to get her nails painted.

She also gets caught playing in the fridge quit often. Look at her expression, "who me?"

That is all I have today. Laundry and a playdate today. Planning a nice run tonight. Purchased some new cooler weather running cloths. The neighborhood will totally be happy about that.

It was bad. I looked like a homeless mom huffing and puffing down the street. In leggings that were NOT meant to be jogged in. With my hump jigglying and jangglying down the street. YIKES!

Also, I have a tip. I downloaded several books on my Ipod. If you are a reader, I HIGHLY recommend doing this for your workouts. Listening to your book while running totally takes you away. It is so much better than music for me. I don't know why but it really has made me get my run on.

ta-ta for now!!