dear michael dell,

hi, it's me, coco.

i just wanted to write you a quick note to remind you of how hot the fires of hell are.

there is a small chance you are going there because of the shitty products, shitty service, and joke of a company you run. throwing money at children's charities around austin must be the only way you can sleep at night and look at yourself in the mirror each morning.

i just received our computer back after being gone for quite sometime and attached to what i thought was my fixed computer is a note.

a note letting me know that the round rock service center doesn't seem to have a hard drive for my computer and that one is being shipped to me from ohio.

oh really you rich bastard. oh really.

so now i get to install the hard drive on my computer myself, in 3-5 business days, when the hard drive is supposed to arrive.

the real kicker being, you so kindly gave me a number to call if i need tech support to help me install it. you sir, have clearly not called your own tech support people. but then you probably have an hp or a mac, so you don't need to call tech support very often.

but i digress, your tech support doesn't speak fucking english. therefore, it makes it kind of impossible for me to get any impertinent information from them pertaining to my computer.

so that puts me in a bit of a pickle.

i need to add, our hard drive crashed on a 6 month old computer. awesome. you must be super proud of yourself and your products.

i have nothing else to say. i think you should be ashamed of yourself. that's all.

sincerely,
coco

p.s.
i've heard you are a real dick to work for. and your wife has quite the reputation of being a real bitch.