Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Dear Hollywood,

Hi, it's Coco. And we really need to sit down and have a quick little discussion. Well, it may not be quick, as I am very long winded and quite opinionated but this is something that has been on my mind for quite sometime and now it has come to fruition and I can no longer keep it inside.

The issue is your idea of "fat" and that "skinny" looks good. This is just all kinds of fucked up if you ask me. And I need to bring you into the light (no pun intended).

I consider myself to be of average size. I work out on a regular basis and eat well. Yet, I do love my adult beverages and I can't pass up a platter of good Mexican or a great burger and fries. This keeps me at my average size. When I was in my college and post college days, I didn't work out and didn't feel good about my body. I physically felt....well....yucky.

Since the birth of my first child, I have not gone longer than two weeks without a good hour work out. This makes me feel good. Inside and out. I am happier all around.

This makes me happy. This makes Hubby happy. This makes my kids happy.

But what you think looks good is not good at all. And makes us that are of average size or a bit larger feel like we aren't looking as good as we should. This is what I have a problemo with.

Let's go over a few examples, shall we?


Tori Spelling. She looked precious after giving birth. This looks terrible and her husband should be punished for not telling his wife to eat! I feel so alone, isolated and ashamed looking at this.

And you KNOW girlfriend is starving!

Kim Kardashian. She has been called "fat" on many, many occasions. Fat? Really? I'm sorry but if I were a man, I would think her body would be the ultimate women's figure.

Shoot, as a woman, I kind of like looking at bikini pictures of her. Just sayin'.

Eva Mendes. Called "fat" in this picture. Ummmmmmm...........no. Not fat at all. Sex kitten is more like it.

You can suck it Hollywood. Really. SUCK IT.

Nicole Ritchie. This is a hard one. When she was on the cocaine she looked DISGUSTING. As a mother. Precious. Pregnant and rocking the bikini? Precious. She looks healthy and...precious.

I have to say, Coco rocked the string bikini up until a week before both kiddos were born. In my opinion it is the best time to wear a teeny weeny bikini. First time in your life you don't have to suck in.

Demi Moore. Wow. This is clearly somebody who works out A LOT. Yet, I have a feeling she has her fair share of margaritas and steak dinners. You rock, Demi! This is what I want to look like at 45. Hell, I would LOVE to look like this at 35.

Lisa Rinna. VOMIT IN MY MOUTH! You are not hot, you are not sexy, you look like something is very very wrong with you and you need to eat and stop running. In this picture, a very slow pace would of been the best decision making, to assure not too many calories are burned.

If I were her hubby I would be walking soooooo far behind her so nobody would know she was mine. Just ewwwww.

Carmen Electra. Hotness. In a stripper kind of way. Carmen is apparently a fan of the stripper pole, seriously, she works out on a stripper pole.

I can't even imagine me on a stripper pole. It would not be good. Or sexy and would probably involve stitches from me falling on my head at some point.

Also, me doing a striptease for Hubby would never work for us. He would just laugh at me.

Ali Landry. Another good healthy body. She didn't lose her baby weight until her little one was 12 months old. GOOD FOR YOU, ALI!!!!! Nobody should look like they never were pregnant two weeks after giving birth. That isn't normal. And could possibly get you shot in the real world.

So, Hollywood. Above are just a few example of yuck and a lot of examples of good. Hopefully, you will get the picture and understand that healthy is beautiful. Emaciated is not so cute.

If this doesn't change soon I will quite buying magazines. I will never go see a movie again and will have all the televisions in my home removed. Trust me, this will effect you dramatically as I am addicted to all three.

So lesson learned? I sure hope so.


Sincerely,

COCO







10 comments:

FROGGITY! said...

A to the Men

Sigh. Tori Spelling. Poor thing. She's not cute.

Ali Landry? Cute.

Lisa Rinna... is an alien. My hubby saw her one night and had a violent reaction to her UFO-ness.

Carrie Darney said...

I would go Ellen for Ali Landry...

Live.Love.Eat said...

Hah, good one. I agree with you on all counts. Interestingly, just last week a clothing catalog to me and I am not one to usually care but it actually DISGUSTED me that the models were all nastily skinny. It was awful and I felt like calling them and saying I would never buy anything out of their magazine. I mean, really, I am not that type to care but all of a sudden it hit me the msg they were sending. That and the women just looked awful.

morewineplease said...

I agree with every point made... Tori - PUKE! Way too skinny, but she always has been.
Carmen is one of the most beautiful women on the planet in my book~

starnes family said...

Eva Mendes is my ultimate crush. She is so unbelievably gorgeous. And, you know I love the Latinos.

Ahem.....Benecio Del Toro.

Hotness.

The Jones' said...

Love Ali, Carmen and Eva... love Tori's show but she is TOO skinny and as for Lisa, um no comment. Ok, I lied, gross.

The Lenzers said...

So agree...unfortuantley in HW there are many more of the too skinny, tori like bodies, and not enough of the healthy skinny. I think Kim K is hot and not fat at all, I would kill to be her size. And they always call her sister fat-she's just as cute. I never lost baby #2 weight and am now adding more to it ( I get very big during pregnancy) so I will have my work cut out for me soon. But
I would rather be big than Tori thin!!

Deelsu said...

LOVE me some Ali Landry! She's from Breaux Bridge,LA and has always been hot but she's also like 6-foot tall!
As for Kim K.. she's my dram figure!

Merry said...

I don't really care one way or the other about celebrities and their bikini's, but I do agree that the media has got to stop with showing sick skin and bones women and portraying that as 'normal' is just plain wrong. I worry for our daughter. I am going to step up on the soap box for a moment... We buy the shit. Stop buying it, stop reading it, stop caring. As long as we feed into this wrong portrayal of women,we are just as guilty. On the flip side, these women scream and holler when an unflattering picture is taken of them and are angry at the mags. for putting them on the covers, but they don't bat an eyelash when they have a stylist, make-up, hair, and a damn airbrush- sign them up for that cover. Double standard.

Coco, your letter was damn funny!

Soxy Deb said...

You should absolutely get on every magazine and tv webpage you can, look for any and all email addresses you can find, and email them the link to this post.
No kidding. Good for you Coco. Good for all of us.