Saturday, February 28, 2009

Intervention, I need your help.....

I seriously need to get some help for Bram.

It's his paci. And it isn't getting better, it has gotten worse.

At 5 am this morning, he apparently woke up, couldn't find his paci. SO, he went into Tess' room, turned off her noise machine, turned on her light, and snatched her paci.

Then went back to bed.

Guess who didn't go back to bed?

This little incident was the final straw.

Friday, February 27, 2009

I would if I could

Tessie Mayes has a pony tail on top of her head right now. With a huge bow.

If Michael Dell didn't make such shitty products, I would totally show y'all a picture.

She might be the cutest baby ever.


First of all, if you want a good laugh this Friday, please visit Shannie. Right now. Seriously, you might pee your pants.

Her conversation with her daughter made me think of all the conversations or sentences that come out of my mouth, that I never dreamt would. All since having children.

For instance, "BRAM, stop licking the fireplace!" Nope, never in a million years did I think I would EVER tell someone to stop licking a fireplace.

Or, "Hubby, grab Tess and wash her hands, she was playing in the toilet again."

Or, "Did you just go poo poo? Did you wipe? Bend over, let mommy check your wiping job."

Or the classic, "Has anyone seen the baby?"

The things kids do can be so frustrating at the time, but when you look back. Just. Plain. Hilarious.

On another topic, I was watching my good ol' FOX news and they ran a story about drinking alcohol can cause cancer in women.

It was nice knowing y'all.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

You might be a redneck if.....

You yell to your son in the backyard, "BRAM! DON'T POINT THAT GUN AT PEOPLE! WE ONLY SHOOT THINGS LIKE DEER, BIRDS, OR TURKEYS!" (I was having trouble thinking of what we do shoot.)

I seriously just said that and I know people heard me. We live on the 14th hole of the golf course, and it is a balmy 89 degrees outside today. The golf course is packed.

That statement just came out of my mouth. What has become of me?


My STUPID Dell computer is not acknowledging my little photo card so I can't download pictures.

And boy do I have some cute ones. Hopefully, one day y'all will get to witness the cuteness of these said photos. Sigh.

OK, tonight is Bunko. Bunko is a big hit with the mommas in town. Last month it was at my house and 20 moms went through 22 bottles of wine and a bottle of tequila. Nice.

Everyone brings some wine and an appetizer or dessert. It is a blast and lately we really haven't been playing a whole lot of Bunko. Just a lot of eating, drinking and talking.

On another note, we are having some serious teething issues up in here. Bram never was bothered but LAWDY! is Miss Tess not handling this teething situation very well. Poor baby only has four teeth, you read correctly four teeth, and I think at 17 months they are all coming in at once. Besides Tylenol any suggestions?

Blah. She is not napping right now and crying. 6 more hours until Drunko.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

If loving them is wrong, then I don't want to be right...

Big boobs that is. Yep, I'm a boob girl. And since the market has put my getting a nice big pair on hold for a bit, I am now getting kind of creepy about admiring other people's boobies.

I'm just telling the truth people. Don't worry, I don't stare at the ta-tas of other real life people, just famous people. Picking out the pair I will be requesting as soon as the market goes over 10,000.

The above set is my choice as of now. I love them. I think they are perfect.

So, I am going to stop eating and exercise several hours a day to get her body, and then one day very soon....her boobs!!!!

Are y'all freaked out now?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I was almost magic......

I came very close to being able to jump through a phone yesterday and strangle the guy from Dell who, in broken English, was trying to help me figure out what was wrong with my computer. Seriously, I could feel my body start to change and form into a glob of fury. This glob of Coco would of easily slid through the phone and straight to where ever the hell the Dell guy was reading his "script" from.

And it wasn't the good ol' USA. That is fo'sho'.

Lucky for me, we have an awesome computer place here in our cute little town, and they got me all fixed up in a jiffy. Thank the LORD!

Yesterday was a yucky day.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Sweet lady

It is Saturday morning, Bram is snuggling in our bed with Hubby watching cartoons. I am snuggling on the couch with Tess, playing with the magna doodle and getting lots of hugs and kisses. Hot coffee with chocolate eclair creamer to top off the morning. Yum.

Tess is perfection. Pure perfection. I remember thinking I could never love somebody like I love Bram. No way, now how. But you really can, and do.

"Tootsie" is on as well. What a perfect morning.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Three year old QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Can I have a unicycle?"

This may or may not surprise you....

Hubby and I were set up on a blind date by my now sister in law, Lacey.

It was an OK date, his brother and sis-in-law went with us (thank goodness since Hubby was kinda boring). Hubby didn't really say much and Lacey and I chatted non-stop all night long. I wasn't really into him and assumed he wasn't into me.

Not a big deal.

So, after a wonderful sushi meal at Uchi, some Mexican martinis at the Cedar Door, we headed to a karaoke bar. Hubby and his brother headed straight back to play some pool. Lacey and I immediately started browsing through the catalog of songs.

Next thing I know, we are both on stage hamming it up and belting out Dolly Parton's, "Here you come again."

I really am convinced this is when Hubby knew that I was "the one."

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Go fly a kite!!!!

Yesterday was a beautiful day. 80 degrees and not a cloud in the sky. When Hubby got home from work, we went outside for some kite flying and bubble blowing. Then we hopped on the golf cart and went for a drive.

We really are wild and crazy bunch!

Look how high Bram got it.

Look at the concentration, little dude took his kite flying duties VERY seriously. You can see in the background, Miss Tess playing on the little Gator. She never gets a chance to sit in the driver's seat, so when she realized her bro was distracted, she sat in that seat for the entire kite flying spectacle. With a huge smile on her face. Smart girl.

Bram picked out the Ben 10 Alien Force kite. I was wanting a parrot kite. The three year old won.

What a fun evening! The kite is no longer with us, but for $2.99 we can have another mini kite fest in our front yard. Worth every penny.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


I just spent the past 20 minutes trying to get Tess out of the bathroom. She locked herself in and was playing with baby shampoo and the baby potty.

Somehow I picked the lock with a bobby pin.

Surprisingly, she didn't seem to mind and wasn't freaked out at all. Had herself a grand ol' time causing destruction with the shampoo and some Burt's Bees Apricot oil. Good times.

Bram started to panic a bit. He went and got his toy rifle and said he would "shoot the door down."

I am not kidding. The little John Wayne wannabe really said that.

Thank the Lord it is 5:00 pm. You know what that means.


Part time morning nanny. Hours are 7 to 9 am.

Duties include but are not limited to, getting children up and breakfast fed. All while maintaining a clean and tidy work place.

Your day will start by getting three year old dressed, fed, hair brushed, teeth brushed, and shoes on. Bonus paid if Individual can get said three year old to wear underwear daily. Said three year old is a wily one. Individual must be strong and brave. Individual must be smart and quick. Smart enough to know that three year old does not get skittles for breakfast nor diet Coke. This is mentioned because three year old's father fell for that cunning manipulation on more than one occasion.

Individual will also be in charge of changing two very dirty morning diapers that happen between the said hours of 7 to 9 am. These diapers belong to one very regular 16 month old. One year old does require immediate milk and cereal bar upon waking up. Individual must be quick on his/her feet and cannot for any circumstance pause or be slow when heading to the pantry. This will cause one year old unneeded stress and anxiety. Individual will be immediately let go if one year old becomes upset due to lack of sustenance in the 7 to 9 am hours. As temper tantrum will wake up sleeping mom.

If one or both of the charges are suffering from a cold or allergies, Individual is expected to stay the night and tend to cold or allergy ridden child/children. If the illness is serious, your services will not be needed, as mother will be snuggling, cuddling, and coddling accordingly and happily. To make it clear, if it is just a cough or sneeze you will be expected to stay the night. The mother does not sleep (AT ALL) if a child so much as sniffles, therefore you tending to cough or sniffle will be very necessary, as mother needs her beauty rest.

Since your services will only be needed for two hours daily, you payment will be minimal. Actually, it will be $0. Your getting to tend to these two children will be payment enough. As they are the two most adorable children you will ever come in contact with.

Please contact Coco if you are interested in this position. And God bless.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


If I pooped as much as Tess does, I would weigh 90 lbs. For real.

And is it bad that I sing, "she's Dookalicious. She keeps her mom on rock rock," every time she has a poopie? Obviously, to the tune of "Fergalicious." I have changed the whole song to fit the entire changing diaper process.

Bram sings it too. To his friends. At school. His Christian school.

Bummed out

I had to remove Tess' gorgeous bumper pads this morning. Little shit was trying to escape from her crib.

Mommy is totally not ready to have her in the big girl bed. Though her big girl bed is just as beautiful!!!!!!!!

Monday, February 16, 2009

Vday part deux

So the Hubby and I headed to Austin for a fun night of food and friends.

On the menu was:

prime rib, creamed spinach, jalapeno twice stuffed potatoes, prosciutto wrapped artichoke hearts in a gorgonzola cream sauce, bacon wrapped stuffed jalapenos, cream cheese bites, brownies, and chocolate covered bananas and strawberries.

Holy FAT PANTS, Batman!!!

It was wonderful and Hubby and I had a great night together. I am very lucky to have this guy as my main dude.

Back at the ranch, Aunt Abby and Bram started to party hardy after Miss Tess went to bed. Poor little lady is still rather a beating when you try to bake, decorate and such with her hanging about. And I knew Abby and Bram were wanting to really focus on some serious cookie decorating and pizza eating. Maybe next year for her.

Uncle Blake and Nicki came to hang out with Abby and the kids. I told y'all my kids are so blessed!! Lots and lots of love for these two wild indians.

Aunt Abby and Bram getting down with the baking. Bram is standing on his Learning Tower. If your kids like to participate in the kitchen, then I HIGHLY recommend purchasing one of these. We use ours all day long. Both kids help with cooking, Bram helps "wash" sippy cups, and Tess likes to just sit in it (remember her chair fetish?)

Uh-oh. Things got a little messy. Look at the smile on his face!!!

Chowing down!

Finished product.

I don't know who had more fun? Aunt Abby or Tess and Bram?

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Breaking it down on Valentine's Day!

What a fun day Valentine's Day was! Aunt Abby came on Friday night to have a nice spaghetti dinner with us. She brought Miss Tess this beautiful James Avery heart necklace for Valentine's Day. I think it is precious and it will for sure be worn on special occasions.

Then on Saturday, we woke up and had cinnamon rolls. Dance Party USA began shortly after breakfast. Bram showed us his mad skillz once again.

Now Tess is showing her skillz. Not only does this little priss dance and shake and bop up and down. She is starting to show her "moves." Clearly, she is learning from the best.

No, not me. Her big brother, Bram.

Look at the intensity. Oh wow.

Dancing QUEEN!!! Clap, clap, clap.

This is just a small bit of pictures that we took. After Hubby and I headed to Austin, Abby had streamers hanging from the ceiling, sugar cookies baking in the oven, and pizza ready to be delivered. They had a blast. More pictures to come.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day Eve

I love Valentine's Day. Love it.

Tomorrow Hubby's sister is coming to spend the night with the kids and Hubby and I are heading to Austin. We are going to cook, eat, and drink with a few other couples. No restaurants for us, just kicking back and having a Valentine's Day food festival. Perfection.

Hubby is the most un-romantic human on the planet, so I don't expect big things from him in that department. But I know he loves me. I did hint around to a gift certificate to Anthropologie but I have a feeling it went right over his head. Oh well. I did get my beautiful new bahama blue front loading washer and dryer. Right? Right?

Here are some very random pics to end our week. I might start making this a Friday thing. Post pics that I took during the week that don't really have a story. Sounds fun. I am so wild and crazy like that.

This is our playroom. At 7am this morning. I love our playroom first thing in the morning. Look at the organization. The perfection. The beauty. Everything in the right bin. Baby dolls in their high chairs, strollers and shopping carts. Kitchen unscathed and food in the drawers. I will take a picture at around 11, right before nap. It won't look like this. Promise.

Tess was being very quiet on Wednesday while I was folding clothes. I knew she was in Bram's room and kept checking on her. This is what she did for an HOUR! No kidding. I would sit and read with her from time to time and then go back to folding clothes. But the little angel just sat and read all his books.

Isn't she a doll face?

Here is a picture of her room. I was working on lighting with my camera. I thought this was a pretty shot. The rocking chair was one of my parents first antique purchases, my mom had it redone for Tess' room. Love it.

I hope everyone gets lots and lots of hugs and kisses tomorrow. Happy Valentine's Day!!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Can a guy get some privacy around here?

These need no explanation. AND they are totally going to be framed and hung up in their bathroom.

Over the shoulder boulder holder.

Or in my case, over the shoulder pebble holder. I have recently purchased the Spanx bra, and I am in love. As much love as one can be with a brassiere.

Go now to your nearest Spanx dealer and buy one now. They are worth all $64.00, I promise. The back is seamless and smooth with a front clasp. It has the perfect amount of padding and it is just heaven. It runs very true to size. COMFY, COMFY, COMFY!!

If you don't have access to this piece of boobie perfection, go here and buy one! This link will direct you to my favorite store in the whole wide world.

Ta-ta for now! (no pun intended)

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


Belle has a post about Karma today. Or about being sweet and kind for no reason at all, just for the sake of being a good person. Go read it, I'll wait.

OK, so, we live in a gated community. It has a guard gate that has the sweetest (and meanest) old guards. They "guard" our humongous 2,000 square foot house 24 hours a day. I wave at them as I come and go all day. And yes, there are times when I have been a little exasperated with them.

BUT this morning I got a coffee and a breakfast taco. As I pulled into the gate, I handed Harvey a hot breakfast taco. His grumpy frown actually smiled.

Today wasn't the only day I have done this. Usually when I pick up breakfast I always through in an extra something for our guys at the gate. It makes them smile. And that makes me smile.

It's news to me.

This morning I was informed by my darling son that I was actually not the boss of him.

His cousin Hank is.

And then Bram informed me that Hank had designated Bram the #2 person in charge.

This is very good to know. I hope Hank knows how to cook, fold clothes, put up clothes, wipe heineys, sweep, mop, change diapers, empty the dishwasher, wipe counters, pick up kids from school, give antibiotics, give breathing treatments, make beds, pick up playrooms, cut up all food into very bite sized pieces, and to give lots of hugs and kisses.

If not, he better hope his #2 guy does.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Valentine Project

Instead of cookies and candy, Bram and I made these hearts for his classmates to have forever. The front has the child's name and the back has a sweet little message from their good pal, Bram. A tiny pink ribbon is tied in the corner.

He actually painted them himself. It was very hard to not go back and make them perfect. But I let him have fun and relished in the fact that he is actually holding the paintbrush correctly.

Cute, no? I thought it was a pretty precious little idea. Of course I kept one for our Christmas tree.

Speaking of Valentine's Day, Bram just walked in and told me he was going to buy me 100 flowers for Valentine's Day. How exciting! I have never had 100 flowers all at once. My sweet boy.

Then he looked at Hubby and said, "And I am going to buy you 100 beers for Valentine's Day!"

Even better.

Tricky little booger....

As the kids were sitting down having their yummy dinner of Morning Star soy nuggets, Mac and cheese, and green beans, I was preparing Bram's breathing treatment and getting his antibiotics ready for him to take.

He is super good about taking medicine, so usually I just hand him his "bubble gum" medicine and he takes it without batting an eyelash.

That is why last night I set his medicine down next to his plate and then went back to get it 10 minutes later. Bram acted like he had no clue what I was talking about when asked, "where is your medicine?"

"Medicine? Mi no hablo ingles?" was his response. Well, not really but that was basically the look on his face.

With a one year old toddling around and putting anything she thinks may be food in her mouth, I kind of started to panic. Will antibiotics kill her? Coma? Would her ingestion of it entail stomach pumping? And also bubble gum medicine stains!

After dinner the two angels from heaven went to go play in the playroom. I was still scouring the house for a dispenser of pink medicine.

I didn't find it until this morning. After a very restless night of sleep, I might add. Tossing and turning thinking about the potential danger that this vile of antibiotics could pose for my daughter.

How did I miss this?

Monday, February 9, 2009

Happy Tag

Happy Monday! My heart is still heavy, but I have babies to love on and a beautiful home to make homier. This is how I am going to busy myself this week, crafting.

I am blessed and all I can do is pray for peace for Cora's mommy and daddy. And remind myself that Cora is happier than all of us right now!

I was tagged by Allison and this was perfect timing, it put lots of smiles on my face.

Here are the rules:Post your favorite 5 pictures and tell why you love each one so much. Can't wait to see yours, so once you've been tagged...I know there's been a lot of that going around, but I thought this would be fun and easy...copy & paste the directions in your own blog, post your favorites and tag a few more...if you want!

1) I think this picture is one of my favorites, Tess is looking at Bram like, "I am going to laugh and go with it but why the hell is mom laughing at us and taking pictures. And by the way, why are we dressed up like bugs?"

2) This is a picture of Bram at about 17 months. I love this picture. He is sitting on a fake tractor, clearly not pulling a mound of pumpkins, but his expression is priceless. This picture sits on my nightstand and makes me laugh every time I look at it.

3) Ahhhh, family of four. This is Bram's first time to meet Tessie Mayes. Look how intrigued he is. She is only a few hours old, I still had on an ugly hospital gown. Trust me, I bought two pairs of pink jammies for the event!!

4) No words. 2007 Christmas card/birth announcement picture. My all time favorite. This is hanging in our bedroom. Priceless.

5) I don't know why this is one of my favorites, but it is. First bath at home. Not happy. I just love her sad little face. "Why oh why did I have to come out of that warm happy place?"

Thanks Allison, it was fun to go through pictures I haven't looked at in awhile. Of course, I have a million of "favorites!" But these were the first ones that came to mind.

On a side note, a lot of you were curious about the cow lice. This could of been a made up situation so Hubby and his dad could mosey on down to San Saba and shoot things. I didn't question it or think much about it until y'alls inquiries.

You are right. If one cow has lice, won't they all have it? Do they just buy some RID and massage the cows and then take that tiny comb and comb the entire herd?

Well, I asked, and apparently you just spray them down with something. Who knew?

But I also think that they just wanted an excuse to go shoot things.....

On ANOTHER note, I figured out a way to keep Bram semi clothed.
Two words......boxer shorts.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Bringing color to my day...

I have been pretty sad all day since reading about baby Cora's death. It is funny how a little tiny girl, that I have never met, touches me so.

I think as a mother, the thought of losing a child is unbearable. So, thinking of another mother and father having to go through this is gut wrenching.

Hubby had to go take care of a cow with a bad case of lice, so I took the kids to Wal-Mart to have some fun and get out of the house.

With my thoughts not far from Cora's family and friends, I did some creative stuff that was a lot of fun to do. All with my babies dancing and playing at my feet. I am blessed.

I needed a Valentine's Day wreath for my front door. I love grosgrain, so I just bought tons of it and a grapevine wreath, and tied tons and tons of bows.

I am very pleased with how it turned out. And Bram helped as well.

This is our built-in, in our den. It is really nice, but I thought a little boring. SO, at Wal-Mart, I selected a bunch of scrapbooking paper, some adhesive spray glue, took all the knick knacks and shelves down, and went to work.

I am thrilled with how cute it turned out.

That egg on the shelf has our wedding date etched in it. It was a wedding gift from family friends with the last name Egg. One of my favorite things.

The paper looks like it doesn't go all the way to the top, but it does. There is just crown molding in the built ins. Who knew.
I love it and it was a great productive way to get my mind off things. What a sad day.

Sad Sunday

Baby Cora went to Heaven today. Please send her mom and dad lots of love and prayer.

Cora is happy and healthy now. Her mom and dad are very, very sad.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

You know you're a redneck when........

You actually have a snack with this name in your home.

Mmmmmm, Mmmmmmm good!

Friday, February 6, 2009

You can't keep a good man down

I am about to go batty! Clearly, the Braminator is feeling much, much better. We are supposed to be laying low for one more day in order to keep him calm and administer breathing treatments every four hours.

Uhhhhhh.........kinda not happening......

Again, in his navy blue bikini underwear. Little freakshow. We are having one heck of a Friday!