Tuesday, September 29, 2009

peaceful warrior and a funny question....

because the soccer debacle didn't quite deter me enough to keep bram out of all organized sports and activities that he would have to come in contact with people other than immediate family and friends that love him unconditionally, bram had his first karate lesson yesterday.

this was just up his ally. and mine. and whoever may be in contact or try to teach my son in the next several years.

holy moly, his instructor does. not. play. he is super cool and super funny and terrific with the kids. but coach adams commands respect, self control, and manners. "yes, sir!" is always required. at some point during class, all the little dragons have to walk to the parents in the peanut gallery, make eye contact, shake their hands, and introduce themselves.

bram got a little silly and was quickly reminded that it wasn't a time to be silly.

then coach adams talked to them about self control and made the little dragons stand facing the parents, and they all had to stand perfectly still without smiling or laughing for one minute.

and bram did it perfectly. of course, i had to turn around a few times because i was laughing but he did it! he did it!

at the end of class they played a fun round of dodge ball then got their "homework" assignment which was 15 minutes of clean up as soon as they got home.

needless to say, the playroom was spotless by the time shepherd's pie, corn and garlic bread were sitting on the table.

can i get a, "hell to the mo'fo' yeah!"

he will now be going every monday and wednesday.

can i get a, "hell to the mo'fo' yeah!"

on an entirely different subject, i always thought the eric clapton song, "lay down sally" said, "way down south" until a few years ago. i still sing it wrong even though i know the correct words. i also thought inxs' song, "supersonic blond" said, "super salad bar." i still sing it that way.

my question to you is, what song did you have the lyrics wrong forever and still sing incorrectly to this day even though you know the correct words.

this will make me laugh for hours, promise.

Monday, September 28, 2009

good game gone bad

ummmmmm, bram's first soccer game didn't go well. at all. seems bram is a bit of a primadonna. he would just walk off the field in the middle of playing with a slew of complaints. a few examples being he "was thirsty" or "too tired" or "nobody will give me the ball" or "i fell down."

he finished the game sitting in my chair balled up in a fetal position crying.

honestly, it was one of my proudest moments as a parent.

this is the only picture we have of the soccer game. there are no pictures of him playing since he barely played. and a picture of him having a temper tantrum in his uniform during his game just doesn't count.

after the super fun soccer game we had lunch, napped and then it was time for a mini birthday celebration for tess. her real party is this thursday but she needed to celebrate with gran-t, uncle bryan and aunt sara.

so homemade spaghetti and cupcakes!! and i know it looks like my kids had no clothes on again, but to my defense, i had to strip them down for spaghetti.

the evening wrapped up with my brother getting into the kids jungle gym and swinging bram around. i really have never laughed so hard. he was being whipped around so fast.

we are kind of an odd family. see how bram's feet are flailed out, the kid was flying!

all in all it was a wonderful weekend.

i just hope i don't see anyone from the soccer fields for a few more days. i'm afraid.

Friday, September 25, 2009

beckham behavior

bram had his first soccer practice yesterday. he was very excited, especially because he got to wear his shiny basketball shorts with no hastle from me. he was also very impressed with his shin guards and cleats.

i asked him to pose for a few pre practice pics. and as god is my witness, he busted these moves out with zero direction from me.





there are actually about 38 pictures of him in similar poses. all the while hubby is standing there shaking his head in deep concern. and i'm laughing my ass off egging it on.

whatev. all i know if he likes soccer and likes to work it for the camera. we may be gazillionaires in no time.

know what i'm sayin'?

high school football game tonight, get together at a friend's for pre-game hot dogs and bevs. bram's first game is tomorrow and i am just dying. can't wait. mom, bryan and sara are venturing down to watch the game and to have a mini celebration for tess' second birthday, which is next friday. mikey is off showing a ranch so poor guy will miss an action packed weekend.

busy busy but lots of fun!

on another subject completely, luther vandross just sang with ernie on sesame street and i got chills and a lump in my throat. then the next segment was a parody of high school musical and i laughed until i cried.

am i losing it?

have a great weekend!!!!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

reunited and it feels so good.

we are all very happy to have daddy home.
kids wrestling with dad. all of us piled in bed for family snuggles. the boys looking for worms in the rain. dad practicing soccer with bram. dad playing acrobat with tess. hubby having steak and red wine on the back porch with me. and this was all last night! yes, everything is back to normal.
the big dude is home.

oh! i also have a shitload of dirty hunting clothes that i am staring at. i guess they are for me to wash?

yep. everything is back to normal. and this makes me happy.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

lonely no more

in case you were wondering about my lack of photos the past 10 days (and i am certain it was a thought constantly on your mind) it is because the hubs has been out of town. since 5 am last tuesday morning. he has been hunting in colorado, such a hard life he leads.

i didn't want to mention it earlier because you never know what freak show might be secretly in love with me and when he/she finds out i am all alone or some sad woman wants two beautiful blond headed, dimpled children....... well, i'm sure you have seen enough dateline nbc to know what i was thinking.

but he comes home today. yippee!!!! he didn't get eaten by a bear nor did he fall off the side of the mountain. prayer works.

the kids are dying for their daddy and i am too.

most of all i am dying for my camera.


kind of.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

she struck again!

first read this.

all done? good because she has struck again!!!!

hubby and some guys went skeet shooting for some charity thing and it happened to be at her old man husband's ranch.

guess who decided it was her job to pick up clays and such while wearing short short shorts and a crop top?

well, i don't actually know what she was wearing, trying to get hubby to explain exactly what she had on was quite difficult. all he kept talking about was how big her boobs were. and how short her shorts were. and how she kept bending over to pick stuff up.

back the f up lady! my hubs does not need to see your hieney cheeks nor your triple d's. he has a mediocre hieney and some triple a's right here at home. knock it off.


funny thing is, since the many run ins at the gym, i have actually met her and she is really sweet (yet always dressed like a whore). i think she may just need some lessons on how to act like a lady or at least learn to dress like one.

and i would be more than happy to oblige.

Monday, September 21, 2009

i'm kind of high right now.....

my "mommy alone" weekend didn't quite turn into the weekend i planned. not at all.

i almost died.

well, i didn't almost die, but i came pretty close.

i broke my baby toe.

and right now i would like to take a minute and apologize to all the people i know who have broken their baby toe and limped around in front of me. i apologize because i am certain i made fun of your drama behind your back. it really is painful. i would even goes as far as to say it is more painful than childbirth.

it happened friday evening, i was totally sober, and just nailed it coming out of the laundry room. the next morning i could not walk. at all. i couldn't even walk on my heel, i had to hop around. it was a sad, pitiful sight.

i pondered what to do, hubby was not home so i had nobody to turn to for advice. finally i ventured out to the minor emergency clinic that we have in town, because my foot was turning black and blue and the pain was not getting any better. i got an x-ray to confirm my tiny toe was really really broken with a tiny hairline fracture on my foot. boo-hoo.

so they wrapped my toes, gave me an ugly boot and a prescription and sent me home.

that was my fun "mommy alone" weekend.

yesterday, i drove tess and i to weatherford so my mom could drive me to meet iddy and pa and my sweet brammy!! my mother had to drive me since i was dying in pain and couldn't take a pill and tote my kids around, that would just be irresponsible parenting! and i got to be pampered my parents, which is a bonus.

i just got home this afternoon and feel much better. i took a pain pill. it really helps. but i am not wearing that stupid boot. it is ugly and makes me feel a bit like a drama queen when someone asks, "what happened to your foot?" and i'm all like, "i broke my baby toe."

so i am being way tough right now.

anyhoo, my babies are home and everything is right in the world. a little bit of deprogramming will be going on the next few days. bram hasn't heard the word, "no" in a week.

on our way home today he asked me if he could have a motorcycle and a jet when he turns 16.

see? a little deprogramming is very necessary.

kind of like my pain pills.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

tag, i'm it!

i have been tagged by one of my new favorite bloggers, sassafrass jane.

she might be my little sister in a past life since her filter is definitely missing. in a good way.

so here we go:

1. What time did you get up this morning? 10 am. i have no kids.

2. How do you like your steak? almost alive

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? up

4. What is your favorite TV show? the office, flipping out, first 48

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? fort worth texas, baby!

6. What did you have for breakfast? nothing. i have "attacks" if i combine food with coffee. therefore, i just drink coffee. if i have breakfast i can't leave the house for a few hours.

7. What is your favorite cuisine? indian

8. What foods do you dislike? i think i don't like liver, but i have never had it.

9. Favorite Place to Eat? at the casa. steak, baked potato, a great salad. or my homemade spaghetti with garlic bread on sunday evenings.

10. Favorite dressing? homemade blue cheese

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? tahoe

12. What are your favorite clothes? sundresses and flip flops

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? i want to see all of north america before i venture overseas.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? i would say half full.

15. Where would you want to retire? ranch in hill country

16. Favorite time of day? mornings with my babies and right after they are snug as bugs and the evening is winding down

17. Where were you born? harris methodist, fort worth texas. can i get a "hell, yeah!"

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? i will say football, but i really could give a shit. i just like the atmosphere and the parties.

19. Bird watcher? are you kidding? they can hear me coming a mile away.

20. Are you a morning person or a night person? both.

21. Do you have any pets? our dog, martha washington and a cat that we named pedro, but just discovered she is a pedra. or pedrita. i can't decide. i might just change her name to tammy.

22. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
i've lost 2 lbs.

23. What did you want to be when you were little? dallas cowboy cheerleader and a teacher.

24. What is your best childhood memory? my childhood was awesome. all great happy memories.

25. Are you a cat or dog person? dog.

26. Are you married? yes. he is a lucky, lucky man.

27. Always wear your seat belt? always, always, always. and kids are in carseats at all times and will be until they reach 80 lbs.

28. Been in a car accident? i am not jinxing myself and answering that question. duh.

29. Any pet peeves? insecure people. though they can't help it it gets on my nerves.

30. Favorite Pizza Topping? canadian bacon and pineapple

31. Favorite Flower? hydrangeas and tulips.

32. Favorite ice cream? peppermint from braum's. or mint chocolate chip.

33. Favorite fast food restaurant? sonic or taco bueno.

34. How many times did you fail your driver's test? didn't but did get yelled at.

35. From whom did you get your last email? etsy.

36. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? nordies.

37. Do anything spontaneous lately? daily.

38. Like your job? love it. but would love to be teaching as well. i am a great multi-tasker.

39. Broccoli? yes, but it has to be cooked.

40. What was your favorite vacation? wedding in st.thomas, caymens, and fisher island/miami.

41. Last person you went out to dinner with? lunch at iron cactus with sis in law abby and tess.

42. What are you listening to right now? 48 hrs one we.

43. What is your favorite color? orange, turquoise and pea green.

44. How many tattoos do you have? none. but both nipples are pierced.

45. Coffee Drinker? yes. a morning must.

i tag anyone who wants to do this. and really, please do it. i would like to know more about you.

muchas gracia.

and my nips are not pierced.

Friday, September 18, 2009

thank the lord in heaven for dvr

or i would of missed season opener of "the office" and that would of put me in a very foul mood for a long time.

and of course it was fabulous. i will be watching it again at tess' naptime.

not a lot going on here. bram is having fun. tess and i are having a ball. i almost have tess' second birthday fully planned out. invites go out today.

i think we are going to get her the itty bitty american doll for her birthday. but if anyone knows any really real like baby doll that would be better, please do tell!! homegirl loves, loves, loves her babies. and she loves, loves, loves receiving blankets. i am glad i have every single one ever given to us for both kids. who knew.

everyone have a wonderful weekend. aunt abby is taking the little lady all weekend. she wanted some girl only time with her only niece. are you all a wee bit jealous?

you should be.

i am kid free all weekend. and i think i am going to sit in a bubble bath for 48 hours reading.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

bye bye baby fever!

it's gone. it's over. it probably won't be coming back for awhile.

the baby fever has left the building.

spending this time alone with just one tiny tot has been a blast. don't get me wrong, i miss my brammy terribly, but i am getting some great quality time with the little lady.

and it is really super duper easy.

so, no baby talk for awhile. no more threats of secretly having my iud removed and getting hubby drunk while dressed in a french maid outfit.

i kind of like not being outnumbered right now.

but will you take a look at the precious newborns that i have.

bram aka. franklin the turtle

tessie mayes aka. elmer fudd

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

a whole lot of nothin', yet fascinating

1) not only does tess have a cheerleading outfit, she also has a starlette outfit. see above. representing our drill team.

2) tess does not seem to notice her brother's absence as of yet. this kind of worries me as i always considered her bright.

3) bram would not talk to me on the phone last night. when iddy asked if he wants to talk to mommy, he politely answered, "no thank you."

4) i am dying that i can't leave bloggy comments. dying. trust me, i'm reading everyday and have tried relentlessly to leave a comment.

5) if michael dell did not to so much for the children of austin. i would wish very bad things to happen to him.

6) if i were michael dell, i would change my companies name to, "kevin's computers" that way i would not be associated with such a shitty company. yet, i would still be a gazillianaire.

7) i am glad i bought a microfiber couch. one wipe with a damp dishtowel and blue gogurt and red crayon are just a fading memory.

8) i am glad my kids have a new found love of michael jackson, but if i hear "beat it" or "bad" one more time. i don't know what.

9) i have already lost 2 lbs. i swear by phase one of south beach. works wonders for me and i eat all day long.

10) when i get to my goal weight, i will be purchasing a new pair of true religions.

11) the weather is gorgeous. my mood is amazing. i didn't realize how postal 87 days of over 100 degree heat made me.

12) i still heart sesame street. love it.

13) tessie mayes is quite spoiled.

14) i miss my boo, bram.

that is all i got for today.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

he'll have the time of his life, and he owes it all to iddy and pa.

brammy left to spend a week with his iddy. i am sad. but he is not sad.

not at all.

iddy and pa's house is better than disneyworld.

it will be fun to have miss tess all to myself. though i am not too sure what she is going to think about bubba being gone so long.

but i am going to make this a special week for her. she may even get her first taste of a pedicure. i'm going to start her early.

boo-hoo, my boo is gone.

and did y'all catch the tiny title tribute to patrick swayze? so sad.

Monday, September 14, 2009

is that a jet pack on your back, or are you just happy to see me?

it is true. kids can turn anything into anything. bram's "jetpack" is actually part of his pirate ship swimming pool. very inventive, no? he had this on for about 3 hours on saturday and to be quite honest, i am shocked we didn't end up in the emergency room for stitches. there were some moments where his reality/imagination line blurred a bit.

we got lots o' rain this weekend, thank goodness, we needed it. but the natives got a tad restless, so the above pictures were taken during a 30 minute reprieve from the rain.

i know my kids always seem to be in their undies or diapers. they seem this way because in all actuality, they are always in their undies or diapers. not in public of course, but at home. this is not by my suggesting it, it just is.

our neighbors love us!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

very bad news.

i have gained 10 lbs since June.

i haven't weighed this much since one week after giving birth to tess.

this isn't good.

i don't gain weight.

i have always been super disciplined but able to enjoy splurges from time to time.

i have to take control of the situation, asap.

the thought of putting on jeans makes me vomit in my mouth.

i will lose 10 lbs by october 31.

i will work my ass off 5 days a week.

i think i may be having an anxiety attack right now.

Friday, September 11, 2009

hangin' tough

nicki, abby (hubs little sis), lacey (birthday girl) and coco.

last night was a lot of fun. and i am not feeling 100% at the moment. but it was kind of worth it

nope, it was way worth it.

but i will be feeding my children fast food today so i can partake in the foodfest, morning star vegan nuggets do not sound good right now.

it is only 9 am and i am already talking up some taco casa to the kids. i need to plant the seed now so when the time comes for some fast food decisions, i don't have to do mcdonalds. momma needs some fat girl food (preferably some bean and cheese nachos and a soft taco) to prepare her for this evenings debauchery that some like to call, bunco. whoa, nelly. going out two night in. a. row.

who do i think i am?

a rock star apparently.

a rock star that likes to wear very short dresses when she goes out on the town.

have a great weekend!

ps i have started making a list in my head of all the 80's songs that go perfectly with the twilight books/films (think duran duran's new moon on monday, get it? new moon and the second film is new moon. perfect.

it is what i do when i am running. the list is quite extensive but very poignant to the sexy beast rob/edward and all of the make out sessions we have while on set of filming the movies we will be starring in together. i plan on putting this list on the blog for your enjoyment.

i also plan on sending it to whomever is in charge of the music and such for all of the future twilight films i will be humping rpat in.

nothing like some good old cure while you are licking a 23 year olds face.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

good news and bad news

good news is our computer does not have a virus.

bad news is that the hard drive is bad.

badder news is guess who gets to tell the dell guys this info?

badderest news is guess who always loses her shit when talking to the dell guys?

i hope i can somehow convince "bob" sitting in the call center in sri lanka that we took our computer in and had it looked at, that i don't need him "to walk me through" any diagnostic tests. this always takes hours and "bob" or "ricky" or "calvin" always get frustrated with me for two reasons, 1) i have no idea what anything on a computer is except the keys, the screen, and where to stick my camera card and 2) i can't effing understand them.

there, i said it. they speak terrible english and then have the audacity to tell me that i am "not paying attention."

i have even had a "dave" make me cry from mocking my lack of computer knowledge.

needless to say, i am somewhat dreading my early morning dell convo. ugh.

i might have to start drinking a few hours earlier today.

on a happy note, my sis in law's bday is today and i get to head to austin tonight to celebrate good times. come on! looking forward to it.

on another note, i am reading everyone's blogs but for some reason not able to comment with my ghettofabulous no key computer. seriously, i need to take a picture of this bad boy. everyone would be laughing for days at the terrible blogging conditions I am having to put up with.

my life is soooooooooooooo hard.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

life is good!

still rocking the ghetto computer so excuse the improper capitalization.

i just had to document the most ingenious idea i may have ever had!

so, we had a chair and ottoman that had seen better days and it was starting to wear on my ocd. i had to act and act fast! the old chair has a new home in the garage and a lovely leather chair that has been in the corner of our living room put in its place. looks fab and i can't believe i didn't do it sooner.

but what to do about the ottoman?

i sat there staring at this raggedy ottoman that had been used as a trampoline, spit up on, snotted on, and used as a dinner table. and oila! i took an old polyester quilt (nothing more durable than polyester) and the ottoman to the nearest reupholster guy and for 90 bucks i got back the cutest ottoman ever on the planet.

cute, no? if you notice the quilt casually thrown over the arm of the leather chair (first pic). that quilt is covering a huge scratch. the quilt kept slipping off, so guess who busted out the staple gun and went to town?

that would be me. that quilt is going nowhere. i'm pretty resourceful if you ask me.

changing the subject.

below are two pictures that i would like to title, "i told you so."

see why?

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

still down but not out

our computer is getting fixed. therefore, i am on our ghettofabulous laptop that is missing a lot of keys and doesn't let you capitalize.

thanks to bram and obviously me who wasn't paying attention.

so this will be short and sweet and will just sum up the past week. more deets later.

oh yeah, baby! first day of mother's day out. ohhhh la la!

tess has been playing octomom a lot. all of her babies go with her everywhere. this concerns me. unless of course tlc come a knockin' and we get some cash out of the deal.

hanging with the love of her life, so far.

driving her mustang in her tu-tu with my sunday dr. pepper in hand. (i only have dp on sundays. weird? yes. calorie saver? even yesser.)

bram hitting balls with mikey. cutest thing ever. he was seriously acting as a caddy.

tons more pics but really, this has taken me three hours to type. ugh. hopefully computer will be home today.

on a side note: tess now laughs her ass off if she or anyone else toots. i mean belly laughs. uh-oh.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Houston, we have a problem.

Our computer caught a virus. It seems someone around here didn't properly install our anti virus stuff. Not me. So, I've spent every waking minute reading. Almost completed Breaking Dawn. Kind of sad. Kind of relieved it is all over. Maybe my head will get back to normal and out of la-la land.(don't say a word, case!). So, hopefully Cocoland will be back to normal tomorrow!