Friday, July 24, 2009

Things that I hate:

1) Stainless steel appliances. They look good but are a real pain in the ass when you have OCD AND a 22 month old, a four year old and a 32 year old husband. I hate them and I hate the person who made them cool.

2) Orderers. Orderers? you ask. Yes, orderers. I am talking about the person at McDonald's that takes 45 minutes to order. The menu has not changed in 50 years, get your filet o'fish and move on.

3) Women with mustaches. This may seem harsh, but it is so true. If I see a woman with a mustache I automatically hate her guts. I have some hairs on my lip and I get it waxed. If you can't afford to wax, pluck. If you don't want to pluck, shave it. There is no excuse for ANY woman in 2009 to walk around with a hairy lip.

4) Personal space invaders. Especially at Banana Republic. And especially in the sale area at Banana Republic. Wait your turn bitch, that tissue tee on sale for 9.99 isn't going anywhere.

5) All the kids on NYC Prep. Has anyone watched this train wreck of a television show? Oh. My. Word. These kids need to be taken out in the street and shot. Shot in their lazy eyed faces. They are terrible human beings and their parents should be humiliated. If they have parents. Which is very questionable.

6) Melissa Joan Hart. Hate her. She won't go away.

7) Jennifer Love Hewitt. Again, won't go away.

8) Coughers. And I know this can't be helped and I at time have been "that person." You have to admit nothing and I mean nothing is more freaking annoying then that person that is coughing through church, a wedding, a funeral, a meeting, a class, while your taking a test, etc. Excuse yourself. Or decline the invite with the excuse being your sick. Because you are.

9) Throwing up. I know this is a silly one. Nobody likes to throw up. But seriously, I really hate it more than the average person. I will run down the street naked waving an A&M flag yelling, "I LOVE MY BIG BUTT!" if it will prevent me from throwing up. I cry the second I know throwing up is inevitable. Thank the good Lord that I never had much morning sickness.

10) Puzzles. I hate them. They make terrible messes in the play room. Isn't that just awful. I have never enjoyed them and don't understand people that do. It is a frustrating hobby. And even more frustrating when trying to put together a puzzle with a 4 year old. I avoid this activity as much as possible. I don't really care how good it is for my children's developing brains.

11) Pit bulls. White trash dogs of the world. If you have one then quite reading my blog, you are no longer welcome here. There is no reason for them at all. Want to know what is way awesome? Our new white trash neighbors have a freaking pit bull. Awesome. So now I am a weirdo who scouts the front yard before I allow my kids outside. Sons of bitches. I really hope something bad happens to that dog. Like I accidentally hit it with my car.

But you know what I love with all my happy heart?

These two little freakshows:

Y'all have a wonderful weekend!!!!!


MamaSue said...

I am laughing at you so hard. Naked and A&M in the same sentance is hard to do!

And those piggie tails are growing every, love the bloomers. I wish Sydney could still where bloomers!

MamaSue said...

I'm really tired! I mean wear bloomers...sorry.

greygillfish said...

That was harsh! HAHA! Do you feel better now? I do agree with many of those, but under NO circumstance will I run naked through the streets with a longhorn flag. :)

Love the piggies and bloomers. She is super cute!

I am waiting for a ruffle dress post. I bet she looks adorable in it.

If the shoe FITZ said...

Freakin hilarious...if anyone wants a pitbull they are always for sale near the walmart by our house...EVERY FREAKIN SATURDAY!

What's your beef with Melissa Joan Hart...she'll put a curse on you with her witch craft!

Deelsu said...

Too funny! I'm not a pitbull fan either!
why have them??

whereismymind said...

LMAO! Love this post!!!! I needed a good laugh, too, as my uterus is so damn big it hurts to move and I'm supposed to be "staying off my feet" and just in pain and disgruntled today. Um, yeah.. STAY OFF MY FEET?!? With two small kids at home... Right... Anyway, sorry, this is not about me or my gigantic uterus... This is about your funny ass self giving me a good Friday afternoon laugh! My how I've missed my blogging friends! XOXOXO

Belle (from Life of a...) said...

I agree...and if I may add one...People who write checks in the grocery store. Bad enough that they aren't using a debit card like the rest of us (I would include my mother and mother-in-law in this group) but they wait until the entire order is rung up before they even get the freakin checkbook OUT and start to fill in the date and name of the store. Drives me NUTS!!!

The Soladay Family said...

I am with you on the mustaches and the NYC Prep kids! Mustaches: I had a female student this year that had one...a big black mustache! Why in the hell did her mother let her walk around with that!? She'll be in middle school next year with a freaking hairy lip! Prep Kids: Hello idiot children! People are dying of cancer every single day, and you're worried about needing more money on your Daddy's credit card!

Now...the pit bull issue...When Ryan rescued his first dog from the SPCA, it said "Full Sharpe"...ya, then the vet said no, she has pit as well...long story short, she's an awesome dog...biggest wimp ever! Would lick you to death on any given day!

By the way, you are cracking me up with all your comments about my boobs!!

morewineplease said...

Oh my word sister.. this is killing me laughing and then so agreeing with you. "YOU GO GIRL"
Totally agree on the pitt bull thing.. grrrr!

let's go find a happy place, and I think it include wine, or margaritas... yes?

Monica Clift said...

I agree with you on most, especially Jennifer Love Hewitt! Pit Bulls get a bad rap because most people who own them are like you said white trash or wanna be gansters who tie them up in the front yard. Any dog can be mean if you train them to be.....I personally don't like little wussy dogs like Chihuahuas or Yorkies. They absolutely drive me nuts! I think mutts from the SPCA are the best dogs in the world!!!!

The Lenzers said...

Feel better?! I like puzzles, but have no mustache-is that ok?

FROGGITY! said...


and this is why i love your blog.

good grief those pigtails are cute, by the way.

i agree with almost every single one of your hates. esp. the jennifer love hewitt and banana republic space invader... and oh yeah, stainless. i can't get my fridge clean to save my life. and my stove and dishwasher are 100 times worse. gosh!

Live.Love.Eat said...

OK, I don't even know where to start but you are hilarious. I love your brutal HONESTY and you can get away with it for some reason.

I won't visit my best friend with my son because they have a pitbull. But I do like Jennifer Love :)