Friday, October 31, 2008

He has a man cold!

The above video is a perfect example of what we are dealing with at the Coco household.

Hubby has a ManCold. It is serious. So serious he can't hear from his left ear, but won't go to the doctor to see what is going on.

Personally, if I was all of a sudden deaf in one ear, you would be able to find me sitting in a doctor's office with a head set on. Patiently waiting to hold my finger up when I hear the beep. But that is where we are different. I like getting better and feeling better.

Hubby likes coughing and sneezing. NyQuil is his drug of choice these days. He even came home last night with an ear candle. It didn't work. But I got quite a workout trying to keep a one and three year old away from the open flame coming out of their daddy's ear. Good times.

I guess he forgot that I had the same cold a few weeks ago, and still managed to run my first 5k in 24 minutes.

We all need to stop right now and thank the good Lord that men don't have the babies.

If that was the case, most of us would have nothing to blog about!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Bad day? Really?

Bram: Mom, what are we doing tomowoe?

Me: Well, we are going to get up and head to the gym. After mommy has her work out, it is time for you to do gymnastics.

Bram: Yea! Are we doing the twampoween?

Me: Yes, for sure the trampoline. Then we will head to the park and have a quick picnic before nap. And then guess what? Pizza party at Alexa's before we go.....TRICK OR TREATING!!!!!

Bram: Is Hank going to be there?

Me: No, Hank will be trick or treating in Austin with his buddies.

Bram: Oh man! Tomowoe is going to be THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!


Taking matters into his own hands....

I guess Bram couldn't quite see his morning cartoons from the breakfast table.

My resourceful son moved his plate of crepes, his honey and a little stool over to the couch to enjoy his breakfast. Mmmmm...mmmmm....good!

A three year old, honey and a couch are never a good combo.

All this in the two minutes it took me to change over the laundry.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

What to do about the tallywhacker?

Yep. Bram is very interested in his tallywhacker these days. We actually use the correct term in our house but I didn't want weird googlers up in my grill.

A great example is Bram's Sunday conversation with Hubby.

Bram: "Dad, when do you touch your tallywhacker?"

Hubby: (looking at me in desperation, I just looked at him and smiled and shrugged) "Well, I only touch it when I am washing it."

Yeah, right. At this point I was trying so hard to keep a straight face, Hubby was trying so hard to be serious. Finally I had to army crawl out of the room I was laughing so hard.

Bram: "Well, I am going to just sit here and pretend to wash it."


Conversation this morning between me and Mr. Tallywhacker.

Bram: "I have to start wearing underwear these days so my tallywhacker doesn't get dirty."

Me: "That is a great idea buddy. Underwear is is pretty useful."

Bram: "and they help keep it from getting zipped up in my pants."

Uh, OK.

Isn't three a little early to have an obsession with his thingy? Maybe because he is always naked or underwearless he is more aware of it.

I guess they start early and the fascination never ever goes away.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Three year old QUOTE OF THE DAY


And then seriously stormed out of the playroom.

I guess the puzzle he was working on got a little frustrating.


I am sorry, but Brody Jenner is just yummy. I may love him.

And yes, I am 33 years old and religiously watch "The Hills".


Dude looks like a lady

Oh yeah, that is my son with make up on. I am not ashamed, no ma'am not one bit.

I have been wanting to get mascara on those furry eyelashes since the day he was born.

Mission accomplished.

I was getting ready for a night out with the girls and he was sitting on the bathroom counter playing with my make-up, the brushes, cotton balls, etc.

Then a light bulb went off in my head!

"Hey buddy, want to put some of this on?" Holding up the ever so tempting hot pink and green tube of mascara.

"Sure." my little cross dresser replied.

It was HILARIOUS! The wild man was so still and did exactly what I asked him to do. And then the mascara just wasn't enough.

Out came the Bobbi Brown eyeshadow, the tiny pot of bronzer, I even busted out an old nub of eyeliner. And then of course my Origins lip gloss in ruby red.

My goodness is he a pretty boy or what! It was actually a lot of fun and it was very hard to refrain from putting some make up on Tess but I knew I had to draw the line somewhere.

Hubby thought is was so precious when he came home and his rough and tumble little boy had on a full face of make up. He was thrilled.

And even more thrilled when I got out the camera to take pictures for posterity.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Pumpkin Pie Martinis

1/4 cup heavy whipping cream
2 ounces Creme de Cacao
2 ounces Vanilla flavored vodka
1 tsp. Pumpkin Pie spice

Fill shaker halfway with ice, pour in all ingredients. Shake. Pour.
Makes two yummy martinis!

I'm just sayin'.........

Quick prayer!

My cousin just had in vitro. Her spirits are high and she knows that she will soon be given a little bundle of joy for her and her precious husband to enjoy.

Everyone please say a quick prayer that she is blessed to have the fun AND the ass whipping that a child brings in your life.

It makes me realize how blessed I am to have not one, but two crazy kids that I adore, worship, fawn over, spoil, and love to pieces.

We are all so blessed.

Scary Mommy giveaway!!!

Scary Mommy is having a super girly gift basket giveaway.

Please go check her out. I am convinced she is a professional writer doing this for kicks! Hilarious. All of the time.

The basket is cupcake themed and I am dying to have it!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Dear Chasing Fireflies

Please stop sending me your catalog.

The time has come for us to part ways. And I am serious this time.

You must not of noticed that the economy has been a little, hmmm, how do I put this....yucky. And like I have discussed with you time and time again, Hubby is a financial planner and stock broker, this is a very stressful time for us. Life is a day to day struggle. I am wondering how we will even get through this rocky economic crisis. The difficult, difficult life I lead is being made even more traumatic with your appearance in my mailbox.

You can't just show up like that, unanounced!

If you keep beckoning me to you then I will have to give up my gym membership, give up my cleaning lady, give up having my nails did and hair done. And I run, so pedis are imperative to keeping my feet healthy and happy.

Do you really want to be responsible for a downgrade? I think not. And Hubby will be very unhappy if this happens as well. No housekeeper equals no sex. Remember?

You and your precious t-shirts and bustled dresses. The plethora of whimsical sleeping bags and tea sets. Unique clothing for both boys and girls that get constant compliments.

Clothes that make my beautiful children look even more like the Gap and little Ralph Lauren models than they already do.

It is downright sinful!

I hate to tell you this but this morning, you were thrown in the trash. THE TRASH! I didn't even open your pretty little catalog with the three darling little girls on the front wearing amazing petticoats and Christmas tees.

How dare you tempt me so by throwing holidaywear in my face. You know that I can't resist!

So, this is a sad good bye my pretty Chasing Fireflies catalog. Maybe one day, when we hit the lotto, or perhaps the market hits 14,000 again. Or when I am finally offered the Ford modeling contract I have been banking on all of these years. Then it is a possibility.......we may meet again.

con dios. Au revoir. Auf Wiedersehen. So long.

I love you and always will,



I have just realized where I have gone wrong.

Bram is in time out right now for tackling his sister over a cup of kashi cereal.

He just called out to me from his room,

He clearly has the impression that he is the one in charge. I have no idea where he got this poor poor information.

Maybe I just didn't make the punishment rules clear enough before.

Did he prove me wrong? Nope.

I am guessing yesterday didn't go so well with the substitute.

At least he tried.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

She's a big girl now!

I love it. I love watching Bram and Tess playing happily in their playroom. Bram is sooooo sweet and loving to his little sister.
Yes, there are times when he randomly pushes her down or intentionally trips her but that is just cute sibling rivalry. Melts my heart.

For the most part he is a dream big brother and wants to include her in all of his big boy games, shows her how to work puzzles, and will play endlessly on the train table with her. A sweet sweet boy.

These are pictures of Tess playing with her big brother. She is so happy and proud of herself. The two of them played happily for over an hour with no fussin' at all.

And yes, I do realize these are pictures of just Tess and no Bram. Bram was playing in the buff. Not a stitch of clothing on. That is just how he rolls.

Needless to say, I thought posting his naked hiney on the internet would lead to all sorts of problems.

But I think y'all get the idea of how fun playtime was yesterday.

Mojito Giveaway

The Mojito Maven is having a great giveaway celebrating her 100th post. Go check her out. Bad ass jewelry is to be won! Such great goods that I am going to make purchase no matter if I win or not. (fingers crossed, fingers crossed)

I am pretty new to her blog but she is super witty and will certainly become one of your daily reads, if she isn't all ready!!

May the force be with her

Bram has a substitute teacher in his mother's day out class today. Bless her.

His teacher left for Europe yesterday. So for the next week (he goes three days a week) this sweet church goer, who happens to be a retired teacher, has volunteered to take over.

Who wants to make a bet today is her first and last day in the three year old class?

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Y'all should be very jealous

Because this Friday I get to watch this man cook! For me!

And 25 other women, but whatever.

For you guys not "in the know", this is Tre from Top Chef Season 3. I have never missed an episode of Top Chef. Of all the seasons, Tre was my favorite.

Tre was a chef at Abacus, which is an amazing restaurant in Dallas. He did Texas VERY proud. I was shocked the night he got eliminated. But in true Texas gentleman fashion, he was a class act.

So, this Friday he is having a cooking demonstration at our gourmet cooking store on the square. Yes, ma'am. We are gettin' pretty darn fancy in my little town.

I will be sipping lovely wine, watching this cutey patootey cook. AND we get a free copper saucepan to boot.

He will also be signing his cookbook. This will make excellent Christmas gifts for my foodie friends and relatives.

Friday can't get here soon enough.

So, are y'all jealous? Not really? should be.

Butterfly Award

The Diva herself, Londie, bestowed this pretty little award to me. Most of y'all read her daily and she is a hoot. SO much fun, always happy, and always makes lemonade out of lemons. And she makes my shopping problem look like nothing.
She always points you in the right direction when it comes to cute kids clothes and good sales.

Most importantly she is in TEXAS! So hopefully one day we will be able to go have drinks.

With the "Butterfly award" comes some rules! Answer each question with one word.

1. Where is your cell phone? car
2. Where is your significant other? work
3. Your hair color? brownish
4. Your mother? cool
5. Your father? cutie
6. Your favorite thing? decorating
7. Your dream last night? fun
8. Your dream/goal? family
9. The room you're in? den
10. Your hobby? running
11. Your fear? death
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? here
13. Where were you last night? Bed.
14. What you're not? lazy
15. One of your wish-list items? couch
16. Where you grew up? Texas
17. The last thing you did? ate
18. What are you wearing? Juicy
19. Your TV? flat screen
20. Your pets? none
21. Your computer? Dell
22. Your mood? happy
23. Missing someone? parents
24. Your car? Tahoe
25. Something you're not wearing? shoes
26. Favorite store? Nordstroms
27. Your summer? hot
28. Love someone? Totally
29. Your favorite color? Green
30. When is the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? dunno

I would like to pass this award to the three following:

Scary Mommy, who is an amazing writer and super funny!

Froggity, who is a daily read of mine. I think we would make great friends in "real life."

And, I just recently discovered her and OH MY! If you aren't reading her than you must. I have made four of her recipes and they are now going to be staples in my home. And she is a funny mom. This is imperative to my morning reads.

Thanks again Londie. You rock!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


One very cute three year old. Blond curly hair. Beautiful blue eyes. Eyelashes to kill for.

Likes playing on his John Deere tractor, hot wheels, anything Transformer or Power Ranger related. These toys will be included in the price. As well as all clothing and pacifiers. And a case of good red wine, you will be needing it.

Favorite foods are, macaroni and cheese, tacos, apples with peanut butter. Loves a good orange juice. Hates any vegetable but will eat an avocado or tomato if you are one smooth operator that can slip it in without him knowing.

Dislikes, being told no. Has temper tantrum capability that will make your head spin. Has a rambunctious disposition. Will not hesitate calling you "stupid" while standing in a trendy boutique and embarrassing you if he doesn't get his way. Really keeps you on your toes!

If told "no" regarding food, he will wait until you have turned your back, and climb up the cabinet like a gecko to reach and take whatever cookie/candy tickles his fancy.

It is charming and endearing I tell you.

Nothing like a three year old with a little spunk. Right?

This particular three year old prefers T-shirt, shorts, no underwear and shoes with no socks. Swimsuit trunks are preferred, even when the temperatures start to drop.

Be prepared for morning battles regarding school wardrobe, teeth brushing and hair maintenance. This is another plus, since it will teach you the life long lesson of time management and self control in the morning.

Also, nap times are imperative to the well being of this three year old. If no nap is had during the hours of 12-3, then immediately open wine that was included in your package deal. This is not to be taken lightly.

Xanax is also recommended but not included.

Please feel free to ask any questions regarding three year old before purchase. Owner is more than willing to allow purchaser to "Lease to Own."

No credit check necessary.

BONUS: There is a possibility that in two years you will be able to buy the girl version and have a complete set!

What in the heck is this?

It is hair you mo' fos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAIR!!! BLOND HAIR!!!

And it is actually blowing in the breeze.

I think in another year, I may be able to put a bow in it.


Ok, it is almost time to start the wine glass exchange. Fun!

I have decided to limit the purchase price to $10 since the shipping is going to be pricier due to the fact that we will be shipping glass. Please don't send anybody a plastic wine glass.

That would be just wrong.

So if you haven't already signed up, if you do want to participate just comment HERE.

And remember, the wine glass can be fun and festive, to pretty, to even funny.

I have a hand painted camo glass that somebody gave me last year as deer season was starting. I love it. I have a $30 wine glass that I found at Tuesday Morning for $1.99. And then I have a few beautiful Waterford crystal glasses as well.

Once you get the mismatched collection going, you will love it. And so will your guest. It is fun to watch which ones people select at your get togethers.

So sign up by this Friday and I will pair everyone up and start shopping for you buddy!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Thirty three year old QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Don't eat your boogers, and don't give your sister a booger to eat either."

Three year old QUOTE OF THE DAY

"This is just the worstest day of my life!"

This all because we were out of Kraft singles.

I don't know how he makes it through the day. Really I don't.

My name is Coco, and I am a Bible Study drop out

And here is why.

OK, I joined a Bible Study with a good friend of mine. It was a group of moms with kids ranging in ages. The book that was selected was "She's Gonna Blow!" A book about moms and managing anger.

I have been going for several weeks and was really enjoying the book, the message, and spending my Monday mornings with other mothers while the children had fun playing.

That is until last Monday.

I took my niece along with me, she is a biter at the age of 4 due to delayed speech.

I think y'all know where this is going.

So we show up at the home of "S",who has three children, and where Bible study was being held that week.

We all sat in the living room having a great discussion while the children played.

Then the youngest child of "S" comes in screaming is head off, she takes a look at his arm, jumps up screams, "OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS HAS HAPPENED!" Grabs the kid and runs, I mean books it, into the laundry room.

The room is silent until one of the homeliest women on the planet looks at me and quietly says, "it was yours."

Mine? I can't figure out what Bram had done, he was upstairs in the playroom.

Then I remember my niece.


I walk around the corner and there she is sitting, sadly and guilty and I know immediately. She has bitten "S's" kid. Great.

I put my niece in time out and rush into the laundry room where "S" has an ice pack on her kids arm. No broken skin, nothing, just teeth marks. And she is in a dither. Big time.


Can y'all imagine how bad I felt? I have never seen anyone react this way to their child getting bit. Now, I know nobody wants to see their kid hurt. Ever. But shit happens. And "S" teaches pre-school at the Lutheran church three days a week. So you would think that this wouldn't be a life altering event for her.

You would of thought somebody had stabbed her kid in the eye with a dull pair of scissors.

I walk into the living room, and all of the other moms are looking around, like nothing was wrong. Like I was not even standing there.
"Y'all I don't know what to do?" Is all I kept saying.


Then I got the lump in my throat. This happens when I get flustered or get my feelings hurt. I start to cry. Luckily I fought through it and just swallowed my lump away. No tears, thank God.

Then "S" came out and tried to say she overreacted but the whole room already felt super uncomfortable.
She is a class act I tell you.

Fortunately, it was the end of the study so we bowed our heads to pray. And the Pastor (who is young, female and kidless) says, "Let's pray for D's boo boo on his arm."

You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me.

That's it. Game over.

As we were gathering up our stuff to leave, I could hear a few of the moms discussing biting issues of their past. SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY!

My poor niece. I know she felt just terrible. And I felt even worse.

As I drove home, I really found the irony in a mom making everyone in her home feel uncomfortable, almost making a guest cry, and making a four year old feel like the worst kid on the planet. While we are at a BIBLE study, studying how to deal with anger and stress issues.

So that is why I am never going back to this particular group of ever so outgoing and sweet "Christian" women.

On a side note, I highly recommend the above noted book. I am still reading it and getting a lot from it.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

It is NOT appropriate....

To watch this freaking hilarious movie:

Unless you are CERTAIN that this freaking hilarious three year old:

Is officially down for his nap.

Just sayin'.

More pics from Cluster F day

This was Bram and Hank holding hands while we were leaving. They are such buddies.

This is my friend Kelly's little boy. He is GORGEOUS!! If he and Tess ever marry and have children. I would have the most angelic grandchildren on the planet.

Bram had a milkshake, and really really enjoyed it.

On our way home. I think she was a little pooped.

This is not going to be pretty

I just had a talk with Bram about his pass. I told him, "Babies are the only ones that have a pass. You are looking like a giant baby, and we need to put all of your pass' away. You are just too big, and it is getting ridiculous"

His response.

"I don't care if I look like a baby. It really isn't my problem. If you think I look wedicwoulous. It is your problem."

This is verbatim what he just said to me. What the hell?

I am going to have to think of a whole new approach. Apparently we have built up his self esteem a little too much.

Fun fall day with friends and non friends

We had a great Saturday with the entire population of Austin.

Hubby and I took the kids and my nephew, Hank, to the Dinosaur exhibit at the Botanical Gardens. We met up with a friend of mine, her hubby and beautiful son.

Well, as soon as we pulled onto Barton Springs Rd., Hubby and I both let out a great big, "Oh, hell to the no!"

Apparently, it was Austin Independent School District Family Day! Yippee! Which means one thing, F.R.E.E. That means every Tom, Dick, and Harry, their 8 kids, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbor, neighbors niece, niece's boyfriend, boyfriend's two kids, and a few dogs where all there. All. There.

Kelly and I were to meet at the entrance and we both debated whether or not to subject our families to the chaos.

Her hubby said, "I would rather get kicked in the nuts than walk through those gates." My hubby agreed.

But we decided we would take one for the team. You can't tell your three year old, "Sorry, I know we have been promising the dino thing all week, but it is too crowded. Sorry about that."

Y'all know it doesn't work like that.

All in all it wasn't bad. The dinosaurs are hidden throughout and they are HUGE. When Bram came across the first dinosaur he stopped dead in his tracks. Of course being the super sweet mommy I am, I scream, "HOLY COW! IT'S ALIVE!!!!!"

Not a good idea.

After a few minutes of reassuring Bram they were all pretend, and mommy was just being silly, we walked through the park at a brisk pace, took a few pics, then headed out for a lunch and some refreshing adult bevs.

I will totally go back on a weekday when it isn't a cluster, so that we can really see the dinos better and my anxiety won't be so bad in fear of losing a kid.

So here are some pics!

Handsome Hubby, Hank and Bram. Hank and Bram are looking like brothers these days. My sister in law and I have some beautiful children. And I am not just saying that.

Mr.Cool Dude on the way to see the dinosaurs. He thought he was supercool in his new HOT (really hot) Batman shades. These were accidentally stolen from Wal Greens. I don't condone stealing at all, when I threw them into the cart, they landed in the diaper bag. Seriously. I forgot about them until I was searching for a paci a few days later and, "uh-oh."

Tess really didn't want to partake in park entrance pictures. I think she had just read the A.I.S.D. FAMILY DAY! signs. Smart girl.

I am framing this one, my sweet little baby girl.

All in all we had a wonderful day. Catching up with a girlfriend and spending the day with the family.

And everyone else in Travis County's family as well.

Thanks Mamas!

Thanks for all of your paci tips. I know I need to get rid of it. I know I am just being super lazy and don't want to deal with the complete ass whip it is going to be taking it away from him.

Coco was so right, it will totally jack up his teeth and I would rather avoid braces if at all possible. I would like a new pair of boobs one day and braces might cut into that money.

And to all of you moms out there with kids sucking away on a pass, GET RID OF IT NOW!!!

Of course Miss Tess is having her morning nap sucking away on hers.

But that is different. She really needs it.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Thanks Lady!

One of my favorite bloggers Deb, bestowed this pretty pretty award to me. I am supposed to list 6 things that make me happy and pass it along.

Here it goes:

1) I LOVE cold weather and the holidays. Sad thing is I live in Texas, cold weather is a luxury.

2) Watching my kids interacting like siblings. It is happening more and more these days and melts my heart.

3) Sitting in a hot bubble bath reading my Country Living magazine.

4) Sitting on the back porch drinking wine with my husband.

5) Giving my kids their night time bath. For two reasons, it means it is very close to bedtime. And they both LOVE the bath, so it is fun playtime for all of us. I let them splash and get as rambunctious as they want.

6) Shopping.

I pass this on to my new bloggie friends. I want to hear what 6 things make you smile.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Dirty Girl

I have been smelling baby poo for about the past 3 hours.

I just looked down to tie my apron (yes, I wear an apron) and I have shit on my shirt.

Could you image?

Sleeping this soundly?
I really wish they made footy pajamas and giant cribs for grown ups.

Dirty Family Secret Revealed

Yep. Here it is, our family secret. My three and a half year old with his "pass". This particular one is his Halloween pass, but he uses it year round. He received this two years ago, when it was still age appropriate and still has it. In fact, he has about 25 other Nuby pacis strewn throughout our house.

I had the best of intentions getting him off the thing, really I did. At his second birthday I was going to tie balloons to them and let them fly away. But I was pregnant and didn't want to make him sad.

Then I was going to have him "give them all to the babies" in the hospital on the day Tess was born. I was going to even wrap them in pretty packages for the full effect. Nope. Didn't happen. I felt way to sorry for the little guy. His world had just been turned upside down with the addition of his tiny little sister and she had a pass, so why not him.

The excuses are never ending and I have come up with the most creative ideas of getting rid of the suckers (no pun intended). And now, I am just too damn lazy. He loves his pass, LOVES it. But the fact of the matter is, he is three years old. OVER THREE YEARS OLD and can't seem to get this monkey off his back! He looks like Baby Huey walking around with that thing.

I have gotten a lot better at making him have it at nap and night only. But there have been times when he will find one in the playroom and pop that sucker in and go on about his day.

So what is a mom to do? I know most of you practiced responsible parenting and got rid of the pacifier at a normal age, so trying to take it away from a big kid is going to prove to be a little more difficult.

Pointers would be greatly appreciated. Is there even a rehab for three year old paci addicts?


Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Heaven Scent

This morning I woke up at 5:45 to go for a run. I opened the front door and it was pouring. Or at least I think it was, it has been awhile since I have actually seen rain. I shut the door, started my coffee, hopped in the shower and then sat down in my robe to enjoy my coffee and the silence. It was great.

Bram woke up about an hour later and wanted to "snuggle." He may be quite the pain in the ass at times, but his child can hug, cuddle, kiss, and pat like a champ. He sat in my lap and closed his gorgeous blue eyes and we both snuggled in "my" chair like this for about 15 minutes. It was pure bliss. I could still smell the lavender on his hair from his bath the night before. It made my heart so happy to have him calm, quiet, and enjoying his mommy.

No television, no computer, no phone, no daddy, no sister. Just my Brammy and I sitting in the dark listening to the rain. Heavenly I tell you.

Then Bram looked up at me, smiled and asked, "Can I have pancakes for breakfast?"

Holy Halitosis Batman!! I almost fell over by the stink of his morning breath. Kid had possibly the worst case of morning breath ever. Something might be wrong with him. I always say he is rotten, but I didn't really mean rotten.

Snuggle time was over and we were in the bathroom brushing the teeth ASAP.

But all in all it was a beautiful way to start my morning.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Kickin' it Old School

I just had to.


I have a confession to make. It is something that a few know. A small elite bunch.

It is time that I get a little something off my chest. Here it goes....

My Texas accent is fake. Totally made up. I really don't have one.

OK. OK, yes, I am from Texas. Born and breed and very proud. A fourth or fifth generation Texan on my dad's side (am I right?) So needless to say, I do have an accent. God just didn't plan on it being so......thick.

I blame Amy Draper in third grade. She moved here from Breckenridge, Texas and I LOVED the way she spoke. Very thick, country accent. So I copied her. And practiced diligently on perfecting the perfect small town Texas accent. At night in bed, I would read outloud to get it just like hers. I wanted it so bad. I wanted to sound just like her.

And I did a fantastic job doing so. It is perfect.

Now mind you I am from Fort Worth, Texas. Fort Worth is not a small town, it is a big city. I went to Lubbock for college, not too small of a town. Then lived in Dallas, Austin, and now in lovely Hill Country. This is the first small town I have ever lived in. Ever.

Yet, my accent is pretty thick and I get asked all the time where I am from. Tyler? Sherman? Brownwood? Nope. Nope. And Nope. All with a smile on my face.

And it benefited me greatly in my single days. I can recall sitting at a bar in NYC laying it on thick with a bunch of yankee boys. I told them I was a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. And they believed me.

Or at a bar in Miami, I had quite an audience of cute boys while I was telling of my life as a Rodeo Queen with a horse named Red Hot. I drove a red Dodge Truck with a big red trailer for my horse, Red Hot. And my rodeo outfit was all red suede. Those silly Miami boys believed me. Even though I was dressed nothing like a rodeo queen. But the free mojitos kept my fake stories of the life of a rodeo girl just aflowin'.

So yes, a fake Texas accent has its benefits.

Reason for this post.

Today I was asked where in Kentucky I was from. This was not my goal when all of this practicing was going on 25 years ago. Not at all.

Three year old QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Please watch out for my penis when you buckle the car seat. Please?"


Monday, October 13, 2008

Mama Mia!

My rough and tumble little boy has been playing in the playroom with his trucks. I can hear all kinds of boy noises coming out of there. Very dramatic "vroom, vroom" noises, banging, throwing, wrecks and such.

And then I hear........

"Mama Mia, here I go again, my my how can I resist you!"

More boy noises again. This time with his transformers and Power Rangers. Great conversations about bad guys and getting in helicopters to rescue somebody. Helicopter apparently crashes. Awesome sound effects. Kid has got some talent with the sound effects.

and then.......

"Mama Mia, my my just how much I've missed you!"

Do you think I should enroll him in theater?

New Nightime Rules at the Coco Household

The below rules will go into effect starting immediately.

#1) If you snore, you must wake up and get out of bed and bedroom as soon as you have been popped in the head by your bed partner. There will be a tent set up in the backyard for your sleeping enjoyment. Please go there and don't come back until the sun is rising.

If the above rule is not followed, you might wake up to your beautiful, funny, smart, skinny wife standing over you with a pillow pressed firmly on your face. I am not kidding. At. All.

#2) If you are three years of age, you need to stay in your bed. All. Night. Long.

You are a very tricky little fellow and have somehow figured out how to get into our bed, your Silky in tow, without waking your very light sleeping mommy up. I think you are crawling over your loudly snoring, deep sleeping father.

This has to stop. Once your little self falls to sleep, you seem to wiggle your way towards your beautiful, funny, smart, skinny mommy. At this point in the night, your beautiful, funny, smart, skinny mommy is pretty beat down and to tired to take you back to your room. And you are not only tricky, but smart as well, and you know this. This in no bueno.

#3) If you are one year of age. You must not of received the memo regarding bottles. Bad news.... you no longer need one nor get one in the middle of the night. So you can yell out as often and as long as you want but your beautiful, funny, smart, skinny mommy is sticking to her guns on this one.

You might not of realized it, but you have been sleeping 12 hours a night since you were 9 weeks. Now is really not the time to go back to infancy. Your beautiful, funny, smart, skinny mommy is not a newborn fan, even when the newborns happen to be hers. So knock it off!

If anyone has any questions regarding the new rules, please feel free to ask. Just DON'T wake me up to do so.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Out of the mouths of babes...

Bram sitting on the bed watching me struggle into a pair of Spanx as I was getting ready for a shower today.

Bram: "Mom, what are those?"

Me: "They are Spanx Super Power Panties."

Bram: "Do they fight evil bad guys?"

Me: "That is sure one way to look at it!"

Saturday, October 11, 2008

So much fun!

I am actually looking forward to my next 5k. I finished in 24 minutes exactly. Loved every minute of it, and hopefully will be able to do a half marathon one day. Never want to do a marathon, I don't like driving that long much less running it, so a half marathon is my goal.


Oh, and Londie, I was just LOOKING on J.Crew. But if something would of been a super good deal, you know I would of had to make the purchase. You know how it is.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Wait, how is this supposed to work?

Tomorrow I am running my first 5k. I haven't been bragging about it because I don't want y'all to get all jealous and think I am a total bad ass. And also didn't want to back out at the last minute and be called a quiter.

BUT I think me running these 5ks are going to cause me to GAIN weight. Well, this first one I think already did.

Let me explain. Since I am running the 5k I have felt the need to fill up on carbs. A lot of carbs.
I have lived a pretty low carb life since I have had Bram, to which I have had very good results. Don't get me wrong, I can chow down with the best of them but have always been pretty disciplined during the week.

But not so much since this 5k has been on the horizon.

I'll give you a quick rundown:

Thursday night dinner: Shrimp quasadillas, chips and queso, two sangria margaritas, sopapilla with honey

Friday lunch: Philly cheese steak. Yes, you heard me correctly. "I'll have a kid's hot dog meal....oh, and a Philly cheese steak please. With a diet Coke."

Friday night dinner: Alfredo with artichoke hearts, ham, and mushrooms, garlic bread, salad with blue cheese dressing.

This is all in the name of "energy for the race". It is kind of giving me the mind frame of being pregnant. I mean, I would never just randomly order a Philly cheese steak for lunch. Unless I was super hungover and needed it for medicinal purposes.

So the next race that I do, I am going to have to really re-think this eating thing. Healthy carbs. Not fat-ass carbs.

What if all of this junk gives me 'rea while I'm running? Are there accessible restrooms on the path?

Oh no. Wish me luck.


I am currently playing fetch with my one year old so I can keep her busy while looking online at the J. Crew sale.

And the award for Mother of the Year goes to........

I got an award!!

Shannon gave me an award!! Thanks Shannon, you are seriously one of the reasons I started my blog. If you haven't read her yet, do. She is such a lady, but very funny. A combo I haven't quite achieved yet. And she is a wonderful photographer. I actually would love to get a little help from you with working on my camera skills. hint. hint.
SOOO, I have two bloggers that I would love to pass this on to.

First is Casey, at Starnes Family. She is a fun daily read, takes wonderful pictures of all her family outings and the fun things they do. And this is dorky (I just said dorky) but, we have started a wonderful friendship because of the blogs. Seriously, we probably email each other 10 times a day!

Second is Deb, at Postcard from the Edge. Deb gives me hope that Bram isn't going to me a sociopath. She has raised boys while keeping a fabulous sense of humor. Hilarious. Always.

I LOVE tons more blogs but these are the two that I thought would be perfect for this award.
Ta-ta for now!!

Friday Picture Show

I received a fancy camera last year for Christmas and have been enjoying taking pictures of my exceptionally beautiful children. Only problem is, I am too lazy to read the manual. So really, I have no idea what I am doing.

I have however, figured out what lighting I do my best "work" in. I took Miss Tess outside yesterday to try some fall pics. She is wearing the most precious outfit, Baby Lulu of course.

Not bad, huh? Her preciousness leaves me speechless.

Sittin' pretty.

Hi Mommy!

Holy hell, what just happened!!!!!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Another reason I am going to hell

Hubby is a stockbroker/Certified Financial Planner. If you have been paying attention to any of the media outlets you know right now is a very stressful time. Especially when you spend all day trying to calm clients and watch the stock market go up and down all day. Very stressful.

But my only thought about the whole situation is:

"If he makes me give up my housekeeper, he is never getting laid again."

Poor lady

Poor Miss Tess had her one year old "well child" check up. Not a good day for her. At. All.
She is 20 lbs and 30 inches, this is 25% in weight and 98% in height. And has in these percentiles since birth. Let's all hope that this is going to be a lifelong weight/height ratio. How lucky for her.

Then the shots. Holy cow did she have a hard time with it! Bless her. Bram never seemed too bothered by the shots. At all really, I guess a high pain threshold is one of the perks of being the spawn of Satan.

She is totally konked out now and I keep checking on her to make sure there is no allergic reaction to the MMR shot. I don't really know what that would be because I never read the packets they give you, but I think I will know it when I see it.

That is the excitement of our day. Tonight I am going to eat at the Tamale King again. HOLY FAT ASS COCO!!!! It is going to be a greasy cheese fest. And what makes it even more pathetic is that I have been looking forward to Tamale King for two weeks.

That is some kind of wild isn't it?

Three year old QUOTE OF THE DAY

"You were really nice about a 4 minutes ago. Now you are mean. And just seem to be getting meaner."

Wednesday, October 8, 2008


This picture is ugly and half ass.

And yes, I know it is only 7:14 am. I mean, I am so pumped about the upcoming holidays and cold weather that I am bored right now with the Texas weather still feeling like summer. It sucks.

SO, I thought I would do something fun with my 3 readers. I want to do a WINE GLASS EXCHANGE!

I had a few (2 actually) comments regarding my mismatched wine glass collection. SOOOOOO I decided that would be fun early fall game to play. Want to? Sure you do!

The wine glasses that I have range from Waterford crystal to $3 Steinmart finds. I find them at antique stores or fine gourmet shops. It makes for a beautiful display at parties and when you break on, and we break a lot, it isn't a big deal because you didn't lose part of "your set".

So let me know if you want to play by leaving a comment! I will match everyone up and then you start your hunt for a fun wine glass. Then by November 30 have it mailed to who you were paired with! Make sense?

And if y'all don't want to play.....WELL FINE!!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

I am going to hell. Really I am.

And don't pretend you don't know why.

Halloween Spirit!!!!

I love fall, I love the holidays, and I love the temps in Texas getting below 110. Most of all I love pumpkins.

This is the first purchase of many, many, many pumpkins. These are just your run of the mill, that I added a little personlization to. Cute, no? But y'all better watch out! I get crazy with the different sizes, colors, shapes, ghourds the deeper we get into fall. Crazy I tell ya.

Pumpkins that I painted with matching orange pots filled with purple flowers. Purple flowers? What the hell? The purple is total random but they were on sale and I needed flowers for Tess' party.

New purchase for the front door. Thought it was too cute. I was going to get all ambitious and make a huge Halloween wreath. But it didn't happen and usually when I get crafty it turns into a huge debacle. HUGE. So buying this $40 thing for my door actually save me $140 in craft crap.

Yes, that is a dead animal mounted above our mantel. It is an Axis. I was a nice wife and allowed ONE and only ONE dead animal in the house. We have 12 foot ceilings and our fireplace is enormous, though it looks tiny in this photo, so it isn't really too redneck.

I just love my mantel decor. The characters are from Bayberry Cove and the artist is Kathy Seaborn. They are scary and cutesy at the same time. This website has lots of darling holiday decor that have a "folksy" feel to them.

I will find any excuse to use grosgrain ribbon and tie them on everything and anything. Luckily I used some restraint and was a little more tasteful this year. But I just think it is so sweet.

Please notice the breathtaking infant in the photo. Three weeks old an losing her "Elmer Fuddness". And then notice the beautiful Paul Newman look alike in the other photo, sitting on last years pumpkins. So cute.

I like to think y'all give a damn about my Halloween decor. And I know you really don't but I am avoiding folding clothes right now. So just humor me. OK? Thanks.

Things have seriously gotten way out of control

Yesterday I was giving Tess a bath. I didn't want Bram to get in because we were having some friends over and he would just get dirty again.

So I am sitting on the bathroom floor and he starts taking off his shorts. I say, "Bram, you are not getting in with sister. We talked about it, mommy said no."

Guess what little asshole grabbed my face and said, "I am in charge and I will be taking a bath. Not later. But now."

Are you f'ing kidding me?

Monday, October 6, 2008

More party pics....

After waking up from her nap she was in much brighter spirits. Thank the Lord. But I had already downed 3 mimosas at this point so it wouldn't of really mattered what kind of mood she was in.

Mikey and GranT, my mom and dad. Tess is named after my mom, Tessie. That is where the "T" in GranT comes from. And obviously Mikey's real name is Michael.

Love this pic! After the party was over, Tess had been playing and just sat down at Hubby's feet. She sat like this for awhile, just watching all of the grown ups visit. She was wiped out and just needed a bit of a break.

If you notice, she wasn't in her super cute dress for very long. I want to frame it and hang it in her room. So my OCD didn't want to get a thing on it. Poor girl, she spent half of her party in an Old Navy onesie.

Here is a somewhat good picture of the little lady. This was right before her meltdown. See, she looks happy. I guess she still thought she had a cute cake at this point.

This is my sister in law, Lacey. Tess' godmother and one of my best friends. If it wasn't for her, Hubby and I would of never met. She set us up on a blind date. I am SUPER lucky to have her as a sis in law and she gave me the two most precious nephews on the planet.

Here is the little lady with her Madame Alexander Huggims doll. I love that she loves to snuggle with her babies.

Adult bevs ready to be poured. Notice the different wine glasses. None of my wine glasses match. Hubby's grandmother gives us two different wine glasses at each Christmas. I love it so much that if I find a glass that tickles my fancy, I will buy it too. And my mother started it for my cousins. So much fun! It makes for a beautiful display and nobody ever "loses" their glass.

My girlfriends have started the trend as well. I am even going to have a wine glass exchange party this Christmas.

This is one of three bottles that were polished off. At a one year olds party. Drink much?