Sunday, August 31, 2008

Baby Fever....

What the heck is going on? I am starting to get the baby fever. Crap. It never fails, as soon as I want a baby, I get a baby. We are freaky like that at our house.

But I can't really handle two. AND I am making the two I already have a little nuts.

What is going on? I am not a fan of being pregnant. Though I do carry it well, if I do say so myself. I really don't care for newborns. And I only have one month left of buying $25 cans of formula. Our house is only three bedrooms, so somebody would have to share. It just doesn't make any sense.

Somebody punch me in the face before this thing gets out of hand.

Just another day in paradise

Oh my. Our evening proved to be a little more exciting than we thought. That is fo'sho'!

During the UT game (we were watching on the tele) it started to rain. And then it started to rain really really hard. The satellite went out and Hubby stepped outside to check out the situation. He walks inside and tells me to calmly take the kids and get in the closest.

WHAT THE HELL! This man never panics during weather situations. It is usually me running around the house trying to pull mattresses off the beds at the first clap of thunder and tiny flicker of lightening.

So I took both kiddos and sat in the coat closet while Hubby called his mom and asked her to check out the weather situation, as our internet and satellite were out. She tells him it is a small but strong storm, no tornadoes, so we all get out of the closet. Which was a little dispointing to me because I was kind of enjoying having both kids quiet and locked in a dark closet with me. It was like a 10 minute vacation.

Anyhoo, the storm passes and Hubby and I step outside to pick up toys that have been blown about. That is when I realized Bram's Little Tyke playhouse was missing.


As you can see from above pictures, Little Tyke playhouses can do quite a bit of damage. Especially when they are hurled through the air, around your house, over your fence, across the street, and into you NEW NEIGHBORS GARAGE! Yes, ma'am. That thing when a flyin'. Our poor neighbor was standing in his garage when it hit and needless to say scared the shit out of him. Lucky for us (and them), their two cars were sitting in the driveway and the playhouse went right between them and they were untouched.

You think the garage is bad? You should see the poor playhouse.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

She may be a little slow....

Tess has no idea what to do with a sippy cup. No idea. If memory serves, 11 months is plenty old enough to figure out this crazy contraption. No?

She just sits and stares at least she's pretty.

Just like new and other ramblings from a bored mom

See, Bram is just like new. And filled to the brim with ice cream and lots o' crap. I don't think he has had anything remotely nutritious in his little body since Wednesday morning. Oh well. Pictures #1 and #2 show him with the balloons his Iddy and Pa had sent to the hospital. And him with his new best friend, the Scooby Doo push up. Mmmmmm-mmmmmm, good!

I also made my way to the hospital gift shop. They had the cutest little gift shop I have ever seen and I don't need much of an excuse to shop. There, I bought the darling water bottle in photo #3. I have always done a great job of water drinking but decided all of the water bottles I purchase are no bueno for the environment. So I felt the $15 for the above water bottle was money well spent. And I am fully convinced this will increase my water intake even more! Isn't it cute?

Picture #4 shows Miss Tess' new pearl earrings her Mikey bought her. My dad is a jewelry guy and so his little lady HAD to have pearls. They are darling and she looks like a tiny little debutante.

Some may say piercing your babies ears is trashy. Some of my closest girlfriends have made endless fun of me. My mother was mortified and begged me not to. BUT once she saw the earrings, she was a believer. I love it and think it is super cute and would of had her ears pierced before we even left the hospital. And that is my opinion on that.

I can't believe I am sitting on my ass blogging this beautiful holiday weekend. Trying to keep a three year sitting remotely still has proved to be quite an ass whip. My parents left tons of yummy food, this is not good for my OSB diet. I am just watching the clock and waiting for 4 p.m. and then I am going to make myself a skinny girl margarita.

There is so much laundry to be done, but if I shut the laundry room door....poof! The laundry disappears. Amazing.

I think that is all I have for now. If anyone has any toddler sedation tactics, please feel free to pass them on.

A quick question regarding OSB

Is spicy mac and cheese, blue cheese dressing and strawberry ice cream good? Or bad?

Friday, August 29, 2008


Why didn't they send me home with a stronger sedative for the little darling cutey patootey precious love????!!!!
He is bouncing off the motherfreaking walls and is supposed to sit still for the next 2 days.

OH LORD HELP ME!!!! I am about to knock him out myself. Can you give a 3 year old a gin and tonic and a Xanax?

I kid, I kid.

We are back, minus some tonsils and adenoids.....

We are back from the hospital and all went well. The surgery only lasted 13 minutes. Bram was a bit cranky but that was to be expected.

Dell Children's is an amazing place and the staff was beyond wonderful.

Please pray for the mommies and daddies that don't get to bring their children home a day after surgery. That hospital is "home" to so many children and families. It broke my heart walking down the hall and to see moms and dads carrying on like it was any other day. The hospital and hospital life was their norm.

I thanked God the entire time I was their and praised Him that I was there for such a simple and easy procedure.

OK, enough of that. I am off to take care of my precious curly headed baby. I will give more of an update later.

tata for now!!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Operation Skinny Update

I have finally lost a pound. YEEEEEHHAAAAWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am down to 132. Lots of running and cardio. Pilates and weights. I think the weights have helped a little bit.

How you know your three year old watches way too much television. A simple guide.

1) He calls PBS, ""
2) He continually asks if you have a sleep number bed. (we do by the way and LOVE IT!)
3) While you are digging for your keys, he tells you that a "Buxton" would be a really great purchase. And how we can easily pay for it in "four easy payments"
(please see beautiful leather handbag in above

I guess I need to run and not walk to the nearest educational type store for some flashcards or workbooks......

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

9 years ago on a dark and cold night in December.....

Per request of Shannie, here is my ghost story. If you are not into that sort of thing then move on. If you are then stick around. This one is quite long and quite a doozy. If I do say so myself. I really hope I don't give you nightmares. You've been warned.

OK, it was Christmas Eve, 1999. I had just moved from Dallas to Austin and was going to drive to my parents for Christmas. They live in a little town in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area and I had at this point never driven the whole Austin to Weatherford route at night and alone. This route is primarily a two lane highway that goes through tiny little towns. A very pretty drive actually. IF YOU LIKE GHOSTS!

So my dad had given me the lecture about not swerving if I see a deer in the road, or a even a kitten for that matter. I believe his exact words were, "If you see a box of puppies in the road, DO NOT SWERVE" My dad is a great guy and doesn't normally promote running over puppies but he has this thing about swerving and roll over accidents. Kind of weird

But I digress. I was planning on leaving after work and head straight to Weatherford but one of our cats got out so I had to spend two hours scouting the neighborhood for her. This put me on the road, Christmas Eve, at around 7:30. It was super cold outside and super dark.

Two hours later I get into a tiny little town with a cute little square. Since it was about 9:30 at this time the square was closed. Even the two gas stations were closed at this time of night. Again, it was Christmas Eve.

Past the square is a huge cemetery and it is just off the road. You could reach your hand out the passenger window heading out of town and touch a tombstone. So I am going 25 miles an hour through the square and I drop a CD (OK it was my cigarette lighter, it was 9 years ago and I might of smoked a few ciggies) and bent down to pick it up off the floorboard. As I look up I notice a dog on the side of the road in the cemetery. I think to myself, "Oh shit! Dog, please don't run in front of my car because I will swerve and kill myself". Then this dog stands up. And I realize it is a little girl. At first I didn't freak out, I thought, "This is odd. What is a little girl doing out in the dark on a cold night in a cemetery?" It seems so cliche and even more cliche as I write it down. Dark, cold, and cemetery.

This little girl was holding her hair back and looking down at the ground. And she just looked different. She was not glowing or iridescent. Just different. It is kind of like trying to explain to a blind person what the color blue looks like.

THEN I FREAKED THE SHIT OUT. I punched it to 80 mph and didn't look back. Just prayed and prayed. Praying to God that whatever I saw didn't follow me to Weatherford.
I didn't look back for two reasons. The first reason being, I was afraid if I looked back she would be gone and my fears would be confirmed. She wasn't real. The second reason being, I was afraid the bitch would be in my backseat!!

I didn't say a word when I got home but did tell my mother the next morning. She simply said, "you must of seen something, because if it really was a little girl you would of pulled over and helped." And this is true.

I have since told this story tons of times and some people believe me and some don't. Whatever. I just know what I saw, and it still gives me chills every time I tell it. FREAKY!

Two years later, I was at a party and met a girl from this little town. I had already had a couple of glasses of wine, so I proceeded to tell her my ghost story. She stopped me before I could finish and told me the rest of MY own story. Apparently what I saw wasn't a little girl but a tiny woman. Nobody knows why she is there and she is only seen by one person at a time. She only comes out when the town is closed down and she thinks she will be alone. Two girlfriends of mine who knew this story were standing there listening to this girl with their chins hitting the floor. After she finished, she asked me if it made me feel better. And I really don't know. I like that I am not crazy and seeing things. But I think it is weird that I saw a ghost.

I am not the best writer, so this story might be better in person. But it scared the shit out of me just typing it.

Do y'all think I am a weirdo now?

The countdown begins..........

My precious boy is getting his tonsils and adenoids out on Thursday. I know this is a very simple and everyday procedure but it still is sending me into waves of panic. Putting him under scares me to death. And the thought of him waking up from surgery in pain makes me cringe.

Lucky for us, we get to spend the night at Dell Children's in Austin. This will help keep my post-op anxiety at bay. Hopefully. A bustling hospital full of highly trained professionals should be enough to take of my little guy. Right? Right?

I have been praying and praying and praying and know Bram will be watched over and taken care of. And then I feel selfish that there are mothers out there with children that are so sick and have such bigger fish to fry than their baby getting his tonsils out.

He will be fine.

We went and picked out a new back pack and two new pairs of stain free pajamas for his hospital stay. Of course he picks out a back pack with blue sharks all over it. I even took him to a darling children's boutique on the square to make sure a super cute one was picked out and the Power Ranger selection very limited. Of course he picked out the ugliest one in the whole store. Oh well, it is his surgery, not mine. Maybe I will get it monogrammed. That will possibly help in the cuteness department. And will give me a project to calm my nerves a bit.

That and a little friend I like to call Xanax....

Monday, August 25, 2008

"I'll keep your boys on rock rock"

Went to the gym to work out after the weekend food and drink festival.

I ran for 15 minutes, did the elliptical for 20 minutes. Weights for 30. Oh yeah baby!

Sad thing is, I will still be 133lbs on Wednesday for the OSB weigh in.

Pictures from the coast


What can I say? The trip was perfect. We could not of gone with a better group of friends. SO MUCH FUN!! The Texas coast holds so many fun childhood memories for me and hopefully Hubby and I will make tons more with our kiddos and friends.

We actually hired a photographer to come out and take pictures of all of us on the beach. I can't wait to see them. Everyone wore white and the sun was setting, so sweet.

Of course MY child acted like an ass at first and refused to smile and even turned his back on the photographer a couple of times. I told her just to ignore him and he will eventually get with the program. And I was right.

He sees dead people......

I am a believer in ghost. I have seen one before and I am not kidding or trying to be funny. It is a long story but a true one and it still freaks me out to think about that scary, cold night in December.

Well, we live not far from a cemetery. You can sit on our back porch and see it on the hill. This disturbed me quite a bit at first. I eventually got used to the idea and went on about raising my children and being the happy homemaker that I am.

Then Bram started talking to ghost. He will wake up in the morning and talk about the man, or the kid, or the puppy, or the old lady that came to him that night from "across the street". SHUT UP! I am not kidding. This doens't seem to occur on a regular basis and he will bring it up quite casually. It isn't a big deal to him and doesn't seem to startle or scare him one bit.

For instance, THIS morning he told me about the man and his dog that came in his window last night from across the street. I asked him what the man said and he made a little whispering noise. SHUT UP! No ma'am, I am not kidding. So I asked if the man and dog scared him last night and he said, "No, they were just looking around before they had to be gone forever".

This is not the first time somebody came to him to "look around". Should I put our house up for sale? Should I take him to see a psychiatrist? I am fresh out of ideas. And trying not to freak out too much.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

one last thing....

Who wants to make a bet that this little lady will be walking by the time we get back?

And we're off

The fam is heading to the coast for an end of summer beach trip. This will be an interesting trip because we are going with three other families and there will be 7 kids all 5 and under. Whoa Nelly!! We actually hired a sitter to come and help but she backed out at the last minute. Shit.

Fun families, fun kids, lots of food and beverages!

Have a super duper weekend. I will be back with pics I am sure. And hopefully my sanity......

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Those crazy city kids

After Cousin's Day we brought our nephew Hank home with us. Hank is five and is the apple of Bram's eye. Seriously, I can get Bram to do ANYTHING if I just say, "Oh, Hank wears that", "Hank eats that", "Hank doesn't throw a fit like that". You get the picture. The only thing that doesn't work is, "Hank didn't have a paci at three and a half". But why my 3 year old is still a paci addict at this age is a whole nother post.

Anyhoo, Hank lives in Austin and we are about an hour outside of Austin. I love having Hank spend time with us. He and Bram are super close and they have a blast together. It is easy peasy having him here because Bram is totally entertained and Hank is old enough to keep the two of them out of trouble. They played endless hours of Batman, Superman, and Power Rangers. Stopping only for bathroom and popsicle breaks.

When Hank is here it is kind of a free for all. I want to be the "fun Aunt" so I let him pretty much call the shots. Within reason of course.

Yesterday, I took Hank, Bram, AND Tess to the Wal Mart. It was very brave of me indeed. It actually proved that I AM capable of managing three kiddos if I ever got drunk enough to get pregnant again.

We walked through the doors of the Wal Mart and you should of seen the look on Hank's face. Priceless.
"What is this pwace Aunt Coco?", says Hank
"This is the Wal Mart Hankers", says Coco
"This pwace is amazing. It is so bright and seems to have every thing we could need", says Hank. His eyes looking around in wonder and pure delight.
"Hank have you ever been to a Wal Mart?", asks Coco
"No, but I have been to Tawget, Costco, Centwal Mawket, Whole Foods and Nowdtwoms. But nothin' like this!", says Hank

Ahhhhh, bless his little city boy heart!!

Monday, August 18, 2008


Would you let this guy sell your 6.8 million dollar home?

Make it work!

I feel beat down. It seems that we are always going somewhere, somebody is coming here and I am entertaining. I love, love, love to have company and to cook and have friends over but after this summer.....whew! It has been non-stop. Maybe this heat has gotten to me. Whatever it is, Coco is plum worn out!

I would KILL for a weekend of nothing. No husband, no kids. Just laying in my bed, a "Laguna Beach" and/or "The Hills" marathon on the television. Surrounded by a nice clean house, a nice bottle of red wine, and a refrigerator filled with cheese. No laundry sitting in the dryer getting wrinkled.
Kind of like the weekend Hubby had last weekend. Well, except he doesn't mind laying in clutter and can obviously sleep and relax with lots of chores to be done. And Crystal Lite and venison sausage will do the trick in regards to food.
Still bitter you ask? Me? Noooooo.......

This weekend was a lot of fun, just crazy. We drove to Southlake, Texas on Saturday morning for our annual "Cousin's Day" reunion with Hubby's fam. It is our 4th annual and really a blast. Their are 13 grandkids all 7 and under with one on the way. Somebody is always pregnant. The kids play and the grown ups eat, drink and get merry.

We all had a wonderful time seeing each other and the evening was an overall success. It is a great tradition that we have started and it is only going to get better each year. Pics soon to come. I of course forgot the camera and Hubby refused to turn around. Which now I am glad we didn't because that would of made our trip 6 hours and 4 minutes, rather than just 6 hours.

Yes, we did manage to turn a 4 hour trip up there into a 6 hour trip. This was totally my fault and I am still being reminded of this blunder. Oops! You would seriously of thought I was the first person in the history of modern transportation that had given bad directions.

OK, change of topic. Has anyone seen "Million Dollar Listing" on Bravo? What the fuck?????? Who in God's name would trust these fools to sell or buy a home for them. The one guy, Chad, has such a jacked up hair cut that I have to change the channel every time his face appears on the screen. And he can't read cue cards for shit. Chad also had that spit problem that drives me bonkers. When the white stuff starts collecting in the corners of the persons mouth. Yuck.
Then there is this other guy, Josh, who is like 21 and is a party animal! His grandmother discovered polyester or some crazy shit like that and so now he sells million dollar homes to idiots.
The bi-sexual hottie is named Madison. Which is actually a very fitting name for a bi-sexual since it is kind of unisex. (Though I doubt this was his parents thought process when picking out a name for their brand new bouncing baby boy) He is the most normal by far and super cute. Gay? Who knows. Straight? Maybe. Madison likes to dabble in both. Whatever floats your boat, dude. His abs are fanfreakingtastic, that I am not confused about!

If you haven't checked it out, please do. Just to make fun of it. You really only have to watch it for 15 minutes to get the jest of how dumb these guys are. It makes me glad I am not a multi-millionaire because clearly that zaps you of all brain power and personality. (I will just keep telling myself this)

Bravo usually has top notch reality shows. I know this is a bit of an oxymoron but come on, Tim Gunn? It doesn't get classier than that. I guess that is why it surprises me about this show, these guys are just silly.

Not a Tim Gunn in the bunch.

Friday, August 15, 2008

It was just a matter of time

Guess who got stitches yesterday? Yes, it finally happened, Bram got the long dreaded stitches in the chin. I have been waiting (not anxiously) for this day since he began walking 2 years and 4 months ago.

I guess the summer Olympics were an inspiration, because he jumped off the side of the pool but instead of his normal jump he decided to add a little twist to it. And his chin didn't make it all the way in the pool.

Hubby called freaked out from the golf cart, I got the car ready and we headed to the minor emergency clinic. Boy was the little guy a toughie!! He was awesome, cried the entire time they stitched him up but they didn't have to put him in one of those papooses or anything. They laid his little head in my lap and Daddy held his legs, no flailing or anything. 6 stitches. We all held it together pretty well actually. I thought I would faint or puke, I didn't do either. Just held my blond little baby and patted his curly head while they fixed him all up. Whew!

Funny thing did happen. While we were in the room waiting on the cute doctor, Bram farted. Hubby had gone to his truck to get gum for the little guy, so it was just Bram and I hanging out in the room. This wasn't the toot of a 3 year old. No ma'am. It was the toot of a 350 lb 55 year old man. It was a dead body rotting fart. You should of seen me flailing about trying to get rid of the stench. I had to, I would of FOR SURE of been blamed for that one. Sick.

Poor little guy. Obviously he had a busted chin and a rumbling tummy.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

chicken wallpaper

Not that anyone really gives a hoot or reads this blog. But here is a pic of the wallpaper I really want in the powder bath. The thing is, the walls are already this color. That is why I thought a stamp would be a much more cost effective way to get this look. And it will give me a home project that I will ulitmately fuck up and end up getting the wallpaper anyway.

But just to give all of my thousands of readers an idea of the look I am going for. See, not cheesy roosters, classy roosters. What?

I find this creepy and I need an opinion

Tess is down for her nap and Bram is at school. So I am browsing the Internet. I think I want to stamp our powder bath with red roosters, it isn't cheesy I promise. Anyhoo, rooster stamps are kind of hard to find and while looking I came upon the above stamp.

Is it me or as a parent is this not what you WARN your kids about? Not suggest they head downstairs to see the perv with candy. Weird.

Shannie, if you perhaps read this anytime in the near future (since I know you do design stuff) I totally cheesing out with the stamp thing? I don't do cheese but the stamping of the roosters SOUNDS cheesy. I have it pictured really cute in my little powder bath. The reason is I found this darling wallpaper in my new Country Living and instead of wallpaper I thought, "I'll just find a neat stamp and stamp it." But I can't seem to find any pretty rooster stamps.
Y'all feel free to help me decide what to do. OR if you know a good place with a plethora of stamps let me know. OR if you think wall paper would be the way to go. Muchas Gracias!!

They call him the fireman, that's his name......

What a great night we had last night! Davin, Karis and their daughter Annabelle are great friends of ours, and Davin is a fireman. Last night Karis and I took dinner to the station and Bram and Annabelle joined us. It was Bram's first up close and personal one on one time with a firehouse, fire station and ambulance. Of course one has been to his school but this, well, this was special.

I made a huge pan of greasy cheese enchiladas, brownies with icing, and a avocado tomato salad. YUMMY! (Don't worry OSB, I only had one chilada and ran 30 minutes last night) So not only did we get to visit the fire station......we got to EAT with the firemen.

Brammy had so much fun, he was all over that firetruck! Davin talked to them through the headsets and both of their little faces lit up. Bram for some reason really wanted to get in the damn ambulance but it had just been sterilized so he couldn't. Of course a little temper tantrum ensued but it was quickly resolved with the honk of the firetruck horn. We had a great dinner with the guys and they were so sweet and funny and seemed to really not mind that two three year olds were running amok in their fire station. It was a great night and one of those moments that makes being a mom super cool.

Hubby stayed here with baby Tess and she was a flirty dream for him. Went to sleep with no problem whatsoever. Well, sure she did, she was worn out from all of that screaming she did for me. I think maybe she is doing some serious teething. Almost 11 months and not a single tooth in her head, so something is problem about to happen in her mouth. Surely. Will she be able to eat cake at her 1st birthday without teeth? Will I have to serve birthday pudding instead? That would suck and ruin the entire "Tea with Tess" theme I have conjured up in my head. If anybody has any cute tea party ideas please pass them along.

On another note, are Casey Anthony's parents nut jobs? They infuriate me to no end. Ugghhgghghghghg!!!! And of course Casey Anthony herself is scum of the earth. Makes my blood boil. I am sorry but if one of my kids was missing for a day, my parents would totally notice. AND we don't live with them!!!!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Somebody is going down.....

I am not naming names, but somebody in this house is about to send me packing and maybe even be sent into foster care herself. Whom I speak of is bald, with dimples and long eyelashes. Very cute.

For some reason, this person does not want to take a nap. For some reason, this person is standing in her crib yelling. Not crying. Yelling. And has been for quite sometime. I even went the white trash route and gave her a bottle in her crib. Please don't tell my mother, she would die! I thought it helped but as soon as the bottle was empty, she was standing there screaming again.

Was that a sniffle I hear? Hmmmmm, maybe she needs some Benadryl???????

If this day continues to be the whip it has been, this no drinking thing may already be a thing of the past. I'm just sayin'.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Another thing...

I am not going to drink this week. I am not going to drink this week. I am not going to drink this week. I am not going to drink this week. I am not going to drink this week. I am not going to drink this week. I am not going to drink this week. I am not going to drink this week. I am not going to drink this week. I am not going to drink this week.

Or at least until Friday. I am thinking if I knock it off with the red wine and Cosmos then I can lose 5 lbs by next week EASY. I am running tonight when it cools down. Pilates tomorrow and 30 minutes on the elliptical after my class.

Working out hasn't been an issue for me at all. Once I discovered they had terrific daycare, I was handing over my credit card and signing at the dotted line. No lie. I usually make it to the gym 4 days a week on top of my running 3 nights a week.
Snacking my be more of a problem than I realize. And the hootch doesn't help.

So this week it is all veggies, fruits, and lean meats. LOTS of water with lemon and maybe a diet coke thrown in there for desert.

I am 5'7 and 133 lbs. This is not fat, I know this. But I just feel like I need to eat better. A lot better. And tone up more. Will I ever be happy? I am 10 lbs lighter now than I was when I met Hubby. We will see if the lbs go away. If not then I am supposed to be at this weight and I will be happy at 133 and just keep on keepin' on.


This is Caine, our new dog. Caine was found by friends of my parents on the side of the road, eating road kill. This puppy is the sweetest love on the planet, he lets Bram carry him around without a single complaint. He has been sleeping with us and seems to be totally potty trained. Unless he is pissing somewhere and I just haven't found it yet.

I did call the Parker County SPCA and local vets and gave my name and number as well as my parents just in case someone is frantically searching. Somebody is sick over losing this dog and I will be more than happy to give him back if he is lost. But eating road kill? Poor baby had been lost for quite some time. And I saved him, he loves me, he knows I am the reason he is no longer eating road kill AND I prevented him from BECOMING roadkill as well.

Hubby was not at all pleased when I called to tell him about Caine. I had to beg, plead and promise all sorts of sexual favors before he said that I could. I kid, I kid. But seriously, there was some very 6 year old like begging going on.

The name Caine is just a French name that we could agree on (poodles are of French dissent). I really wanted to name him Kevin. That is just funny. The thought of being in the front yard yelling, "Kevin! Kevin!" and people thinking that maybe your kid has gone AWOL cracks me up. Hubby would not go for it. No matter how hard I begged or what I promised. So Caine it is.

I think I really could get used to this dog.

So relaxing

We had a great time at the parentals this weekend. Swam, ate a ton, had a plethora of frosty adult bevs. The babies were spoiled rotten. It was terrific.

My parents live out in the "country" on 10 acres and it is so beautiful with lots of places for the kids to have adventures. Which is what Bram calls it. My dad or "Mikey" has Broncos and Jeeps galore. It is a dream for an outdoorsy little fellow. And of course the swimming is non-stop. The jumping off of the diving board, endless.

Then we get to little Miss Tess. YOWZER! All I can say is I am so thankful for the "BabyWise" books that taught me the joy of early bedtimes. 7 pm could not come sooner and was the reason a Cosmo was made by 4pm. Holy Toledo! Stairs and a crawling baby are not a good combo. Their house has more stairs than the average two story house. This I am convinced of. I am not kidding, I didn't sit down unless she was napping or it was bedtime. Between keeping fuzz and paper out of her mouth and falling down stairs, I was a busy little beaver.

Of course the grandparents were carrying her around quite a bit but that is when I was tending to Brammy, trying to get him to eat something other than popsicles and gum.

It was a blast but a beating. A blast/beating combo if you will. Now that I think about it, that is what most "fun" weekends with kids are. Blast/beatings. SOOO MUCH FUN! on one hand. HOLY CRAP THIS IS HELL! on the other. Am I right?

Anyhoo, as I pulled up to the house yesterday, after 3 hours in the car listening to Leap Frog and a screaming 10 month old, the steam started coming out of my ears. Hubby had not done a damn thing. The front yard wasn't mowed, the hoses were strung about. Bird poo was still on the front porch, and it had not been power washed, as requested. It got a little worse as I made my way in. Apparently he had a great weekend of playing his Playstation and watching movies, and probably a lot of solitaire on the computer (I am not kidding, he is an addict. Weird.) Of course he did do stuff with our cows and got things ready for the hunting lease. Oh yes, and went skeet shooting. What a weekend!

If I had it in me, I seriously would let one week of me doing nothing to the house go by and see if he even notices. My OCD would never let this happen but I would love to do it. I have cooled down a bit after I got everything in order and the maid comes Wednesday, so it wasn't the end of the world.

The guy is wonderful but good Lord I wish he would use his thinking cap sometimes.

There is also a little addition to our family. Will write about that later......

Monday, August 11, 2008

I quite!

I seriously think I am about to put in my two weeks notice. When "management" wakes up from their naps, I am going to have to sit them down and have a long talk about how I am overworked and underpaid.

If they don't take my pleas seriously, the two suits are going to have to get on the ball looking for a qualified replacement.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

She knows they are high in protein

I just pulled a cricket out of my baby's mouth.
Seriously, she better knock this crap off because she is not looking like the bright one of the two. Bram never put random things in his mouth, just toys and the norm. Not Tess, she will eat toilet paper, fuzz, magazines, string, and apparently crickets.

Friday, August 8, 2008

For Shannon: Behold the Muffin Top

The above is a picture of muffin top. This is what I look like in my favorite pair of True Religions right now. Well, maybe not this bad. But I want to look like the picture of Dennis Quaid's wife a few posts down. Flat with NOTHING squishy. NOTHING!!

Hold me closer tiny dancer....

It just doesn't get cuter than this! Iddy, my mother in law, sews like a mo'fo', she is incredible. Lucky for me, I didn't just have a girl, I had THE girl. Yesterday a box of the most precious personalized onesies and such arrived. Here is the little lady in her tu-tu onesie. I just want to eat her up she is so yummy!

The kids and I are heading to Weatherford this weekend to hang out with my parents and brother. Hubby is staying here to take some cows to auction. I sure hate to miss that fun. Anyhoo, I haven't been home since April and that is rare because I used to go home once a month. My parents, Mikey and Gran-T, usually come here, they will even come for one night just to babysit. Since I have the only grandchildren it is pretty easy to get them to do anything I want. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (evil laugh). But I really miss home so I thought this weekend, I would head North.

Ta-ta for now! Have a super duper weekend!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

This is what I want to look like

I want to wear jeans or leggings with a cute tee or sweater and have NO hips and NO love handles like Mrs. Quaid. This is my OSB goal.

I would also like to spend one night with Mr. Quaid but he seems to have his hands full these days with the twins and all.....

But wait...

Do the polka dots make you feel funny? I can't decide. Oh damn! I love this template but I kind of think I am getting dizzy looking at it. I would ask hubby but he will just make fun of me and I have had enough ridicule tonight from him.


Thanks ladies....

Well the new Operation Skinny Bitch site is just too cute AND it made me realize how boring my blog was. Not that anyone is reading it or anything but I just wasn't really into the look.. BUT NOT ANYMORE! I love this! Green is my favorite color ever, as is orange. And what is cuter than polka dots? I can't think of a thing. Yea!!! Thanks Shannie and Shannon.
If anyone can kind of walk me through how to get "my favorite reads" and how to get the Operation Skinny Bitch button that would be cool. I seriously just got my ass whipped by a computer just trying to change the template. I went to Tech, don't make fun.....

He's got skills

Bram is now doing random karate moves at random times. The above "move" was shown to me last night as I was preparing dinner. Very impressive. This boy is talented.

And yes, I know his underwear is on backwards, but he likes to see the pictures. Apparently wedgies don't bother him much.

I love/hate old people

We live in a small town outside of Austin, more of a retirement small town if you will. Luckily, we have met tons of families our age, young professionals with kids ranging in the same ages. We love it, we really do.

Our neighborhood is gated. Now don't get any crazy ideas, it is gated because it is the only zoned neighborhood in town. Not because the homes are exclusive and fancy. No,no,no. We just really didn't want to live next to a double wide with a car on blocks. Not that there is anything wrong with that but not our cup of tea.

Anyhoo, old people in our neighborhood piss me off to a level that embarrasses my husband and probably one day my kids. They drive way too slow, put their brakes on for no reason, and drive down our street just to check out the goings on. (Because our backyard looks like an episode of "Sanford and Sons" with all the kid stuff strung about, so this makes me feel very insecure. I know they are talking ugly about us. I just know it, even though hubby thinks I am being silly.)

One day I might be even be on the 10 o'clock news for slamming my Tahoe into the back of a black Continental carrying two oldies because I had a screaming tot in the backseat and they were only going 4 miles an hour and the speed limit is CLEARLY 25...just be prepared.

But tonight I met the spriest little 80 year old on the planet and my love for old people was restored.

I am on the board of a children's advocacy project and we had a meeting tonight. We had to tell a little about ourselves and most of us just gave our names and what we did and blah blah blah. But this little lady just kept talking. Told us how we all need to keep active to stay young, how she will FOR SURE live to see a great-great grandchild, she drove better than she did 40 years ago, and how all of her friends are in their 50's and can't keep up with her. She wore the spunkiest little outfit and biggest turquoise necklace and just was a doll face. Afterwards, I wanted to kiss her on the mouth and take her to a cafeteria for some baked fish, mac and cheese, and lime jello! It really made my heart happy.

So on my way home, after a quick stop for a Mexican martini,I was more than happy to follow behind an Oldsmobile going 1 mph. Without the tiniest urge to nudge them with my grill guard.

It may or may not of had something to do with the Mexican martini but I feel like I am for sure making progress out here in Hill Country!

On another note, Tess is going to be walking in the next couple of weeks. I just feel it. She is standing up in the middle of the living room without holding on to a thing and then plops down. If I remember correctly, this is the beginning of the end. Yikes. Lucky for her she is super duper cute.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Go ahead, call the authorities

I just gave Bram a popsicle so I could finish folding clothes. And shop online.

I can't do it anymore!

Swimming. I can't do it anymore. I just can't. It is too hot to even swim, and with a baby and a swimming-aholic three year old it can be a beating.
At the beginning of the summer I drove the golf cart up to the pool almost every day and loved every second of it. Bram was swimming like a fish, learning to do cannon balls. Tess was happy and content on my hip with her darling swimsuits and little hats. I had a cold beer in my hand (if we went after 5 of course!) or a margarita. Good times were had by all. Not now. Hubby still will take Bram when he gets home from work but I no longer join him. Yesterday I went to the pool for 30 minutes, even Bram asked to go home for a Popsicle.

Also, I am having to do my running at 9 pm!! And my yummy red wine isn't as yummy in 107 degree heat.

I am dreaming of the fall, dreaming of pumpkins, soups, baking, jeans and my Juicy sweats. In Texas this doesn't happen until mid October but I am hoping for an early fall around here. Something has got to give,this is making me very unhappy.

On another note, Bram had such a fit yesterday when I picked him up at Mother's Day Out that another mother (or grandmother, couldn't tell) asked to hold the baby so I could get a handle on the situation. I am starting to get the feeling this kid just doesn't like me.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Let the games begin.....

The above picture is my precious son spitting water in his darling sister's face. I don't know how I caught it on camera, luck I guess. Anyway, right after this picture was taken, she tried to take a swing at him. The sibling rivalry has already started and she is only 10 months old.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Schlitterbaun, or howeveryouspellit

Yesterday was a HUGE success! Bram had a ball at Schlitterbaun, it still makes my heart happy thinking of our awesome day.

It started out a little daunting because I have never in my life seen so many people in one place. With all that water and people I was getting a bit of anxiety when we got there, afraid we would either lose Bram or he would drown. And the whole dirty water thing was icking me out but I breathed through it.

We went with the Phillips and the Hamills but their kiddos are a bit older so we quickly split up. Bram, Hubby and I did the lazy river, over and over and over and over again. Bram LOVED it, I mean he thought it was the coolest thing ever. He wore his life jacket the entire time without so much as a moan. It is funny because if he is in a situation he is not very familiar with, he will follow direction and rules to a T. Holding hands without complaint, life jackets, standing in line without trying to make a run for it, etc. Very bright, I know.
So we rode a few of the little dude slides and then headed home around 5:30. Oh, but that is not before mommy lost her Christian Dior sunglasses in the wave pool. I really almost started crying. BUT we didn't lose Bram, so that is all that matters, right? right?

Of course, Bram was out before we even got out of the parking lot. We came home to find Tess asleep on Auntie Fifi's chest. That little lady knows a sucker when she sees one. It was all and all a perfect day, and extra special for the Hubby and I to spend so much one on one time with Bram. Which for the past 10 months hasn't been a whole lot.

I have to mention the swimsuit choices for some of the patrons of Schlitterbaun. Oh My GOODNESS!!! I seriously felt like a supermodel. Their were string bikinis galore, I couldn't decide whether to think, "what the hell is she thinking?" or "you go girl with your self confidence!". Nipple piercings under said string bikinis (not that I was looking that hard at other boobies but when the nipple ring is attached to the belly button ring by a chain it is hard to miss). The amount of folks who didn't wear any type of shoes just creeped me out! Gross, can you imagine the foot fungus disease floating around out there.

When you get that many people in that kind of environment you also realize just how stupid the general public is. There were people out there with newborns! People that were not paying any attention whatsoever to their toddlers. Adults who would push a three year old out of the way to get to the line faster or to get in the "bigger" waves. It was crazy, but we had a so much fun.

I didn't take the fancy camera and forgot to buy a disposable there, I am sad that we didn't get pics but we will next time. And next time we will be going on a Wednesday when school is back in and nobody is there but our family.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Every girls crazy about a sharp dressed man...

On Thursday Hubby decided to do the yard so I decided to head to the gym and take the kids with me. I told Bram to go get dress, because he was naked. Naturally. The above is what he came out of his room wearing. Great look buddy.

This kid is evil....

Yesterday we went to Horseshoe Bay to meet up with some friends in from out of town. Hubby was golfing and I had both kids with me.

I have to say Bram was a total asshole the entire time we were there. Seriously, hitting, yelling, screaming, temper tantrum throwing asshole. The kind of asshole that makes you want to cry because you are the mom and you are supposed to have control of the situation and clearly don't. I was looking at other women with a look on my face like, "What do I do? Somebody help me" I would of gladly of taken any unsolicited advice. UGGGHHH!!!
The little guy looks like a cherub but he is the devil in disguise.
Oh, and he knocked over not one, but TWO of my $13 margaritas.

When we got home he said, "I love you mommy, and I will be nice tomorrow". See, he knew he was an asshole at the pool.

We are leaving Tess here today and taking Bram to Schlitterbaum and I don't think this is a good idea after yesterday. I am going to let Hubby deal with it and just kick back with a book.

Friday, August 1, 2008

I am going to need DRUGS

My poor little guy is for sure going to be getting his tonsils AND adnoids removed on the 28th. YIKES! I keep getting anxiety everytime I think of them putting my kid under. Scares. Me. To. Death. There will for sure be some pills taken as soon as I wake up the morning of the 28th. FOR SURE. Hubby has already lectured me that I can't have a meltdown that morning in front of the poor little guy. And I won't, if I am somewhat medicated. Luckily, since we live about an hour away from Austin, we will get to spend the night. This makes me happy and comforted knowing well trained nurses will be there to make sure all is A-OK and I won't be 100% responsible for his well being the first 24 hours.

The family will be heading to Schlitterbaun tomorrow (minus the baby). Bram is going to have a blast and I can't wait to see his reaction to all the water stuff, he is going to go nuts. I will need to purchase some water shoes fo'sho', from what I hear it isn't the cleanest place in the world, and last time I was there I was 8 and could not of cared less if I got athlete's foot or worse. The nice thing is, Hubby LOVES to do anything water related with the kids. This means Mommy is going to take lots of magazines and lay out as often as possible. Yea me!!!!!

Tess is the cutest thing on the planet and is just a lovey dovey baby that I want to eat for dinner every day! I am betting she will be walking in a month. I am really not ready for the whip that is a walking toddler. Is that awful of me?