Guess who has a new computer heading her way!

OK

Maybe I was being a tad bit dramatic about not blogging. And we can afford a new computer, it is just getting Hubby to buy one.

Our f'd up one doesn't bother him because he only uses it for solitaire and has a perfectly good one at work.

Who gives a shit about Momma.

But it has taken me 24 minutes to type this because it is so messed up. AND my test is May 6. So, I will take just a few days off for studying.

Wish me luck!!

Later skater!

I am going to have to take a break from the blog. Our computer will only stay on in 3 minute increments and it is becoming very hard to type. It is becoming very hard to do anything.

Until I get a job, there will be no new computer. The irony is I can't even fill out job applications on this computer or even look for a job, which will make job hunting very interesting.

So, ta-ta for now! I am going to grab the local newspaper and hope they are posting teaching positions there.

Classy with a capital C! (warning: cuss words)

Last night, I stopped at a convenience store to grab a diet Coke before I headed off to study.

The girl in line in front of me had an infant in a carrier with her and was having a serious conversation with the young cashier. All the while buying three packs of cigarettes and a Red Bull.

I only caught the tale end of the convo but what I did hear was juicy.

This is what she said, loudly, with about 3 others in the store. The other customers were all in their 60's and a tad startled.

Classy broad said, "That bitch Destiny better watch the fuck out. I swear she thinks I quite kickin' ass once I had a baby. But like hell I did! That c*#& is going to think something else when I knock her the fuck out with my baby on my hip!"

Seriously, am I being followed by Candid Camera?

I am not hungry....I am not hungry....

The Annual April Food Festival, otherwise known as my birthday, did bad things to my baby pouch (stomach) and hiney (ass).

So, this week I am going to pretend I have a tiny eating disorder. Tuna and salad only. Oh, and red wine of course.

I am hosting not one, but two baby showers in Dallas this weekend, both dresses are size 4. Size 4 is not feeling good right now, so it is drastic measures people.

If I am a bit grumpy the rest of the week, it isn't y'all, I will probably be hungry.

Am I a blonde?

I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer, never claimed to be.

But yesterday I almost did the ditsiest thing ever. EVER.

I had a pork tenderloin cooking in the crock pot for dinner. It smelled like heaven, 2 pounds of tenderloin, terriyaki, soy sauce, minced garlic, brown sugar, onion and bell pepper. All slow cooking in my kitchen. Yum.

Then I almost threw it out because I didn't want my family to get the swine flu.

Go Tech!

Public Service Announcement

Do not, under any circumstance, leave your 19 month old child alone with a tub of Aquaphor.

If you already know this important message, which I am sure you do, make sure to notify your husband.

Also, once Aquaphor gets into hair, it does not come out.

And your daughter will arrive looking like a creepy greaseball to all weekend social events.

You're welcome.

Random picture Friday....

Well, yesterday could not of gone better. Happy hour lasted a bit longer than planned, two pomegranate margaritas, one ruby red slipper, and a glass of cab later, I was home to Hubby.

And not very hungry. So my fat girl birthday really didn't happen.

But don't you worry, tonight is my birthday dinner with my besties, and that means TAMALE KING!!!! So my caloric intake for my birthday will be met tonight.

So let's get started with the randomness of these pics.



Here is my Brammy singing me Happy Birthday. Little dude got to stay up late to wait for me to get home to eat cake.

My cake, I was a little tipsy taking this picture.

Getting ready to cut the cake. He took this job very seriously, and did a tremendous job.

Here is me showing Hubby how hot I am at 34. Smokin'!

Tess' new favorite thing in the world to do. I have tons of great pictures of her doing this and plan on putting them in an arrangement.

Please take note of her cloth diaper. Yes, Casey, it is true.

And see that deer in the middle? Yeah, I shot that one. I haven't done it since, I was trying to get an engagement ring.

It worked.

HOW PRECIOUS IS THIS? My mother in law made it for my birthday! I love it, Iddy! It is perfect and I adore the colors.

Here is my Coco rug. Love it! Coco is written in pea green. It looks pefect in my kitchen.

How happy! He just learned to pump himself. I was getting worried that I would be pushing him on a swing well into his twenties...

So, I bought another frame from Allison and had to rearrange AGAIN! I put both of my ice cream pictures in her frames on my buffet in the breakfast area. Both of these pictures were taken from the same photographer. Bram is almost two in the first one. I think they look perfect for my "allison" frames. Thanks Allison!!!

Does this bikini look familiar to anyone out there?????? It was 96 degrees on Wednesday so we played in the sprinkler. Tess isn't a fan of water being sprayed in her face, so she played on her fire engine. In her bikini.

And the big pink thing in the background is an enormous piece of furniture I am painting & distressing for Tess' room. It will go were her crib is whenever that time comes.

Hopefully another year from now.

Here is a little decorating idea. I had this milk glass bowl that I had no idea what to do with. My mother had all these antique post cards, SO the I just threw them in the bowl. Looks great!

And finally Tess' latest dance move. Let's hope she grows out of this one!

Y'all have a fantastic weekend! The Coco's are busy. Dinner tonight, birthday party tomorrow, dinner with friends tomorrow night, dinner with friends Sunday night. Whew! I am going to be worn out on Monday!!!!

Ta-ta for now!

Birthday to do list, and this is for real....

1) wake up (fingers crossed)

2) have Hubby take Bram to school

3) go get a coffee and bean, egg and cheese burrito from Janie's

4) go for my daily 4 mile walk with two rounds of hills

5) go to Storm's for a cheeseburger, fried pickles, and a diet Coke with cream

6) put Tess down for a nap, lay in bed and watch t.v. until she wakes up

7) pick Bram up from school

8) when Hubby gets home, I am getting the hell out of dodge

9) meeting at Texas Nations with my ladies for happy hour, Pomegranate margaritas, BABY!

10) get home and have PW's spicy mac and cheese (cooked by Hubby), grilled shrimp, and wine

11) pass out and wake up the next day to a VERY clean kitchen, courtesy of Hubs

Sounds perfect to me!!!

Can you feel the love???

We have had a major turn-a-round at the Coco household. Bram's behavior has been GREATLY improved.

I guess he was just going through a weird Satan processed phase. But with lots of positive reinforcement and even more trips to time out, Hubby and I have seen major improvement.

Whew! I am glad that is over. Now, we just sit patiently and wait for the next "phase."

Now that I think about it, the hospital sent me home without my "Bram's Owner Manual." Hmmm, I need to make a phone call and ask if they can mail it.

Anyhoo, Bram has always been very sweet and gentle with Tess. Don't get me wrong, there have been times were I have caught him clotheslining her as she runs to a toy. Oh, and yesterday he spit water in her face just for fun. But for the most part, he is a great big brother.

I have noticed lately, he is taking his role even more seriously.

On Monday, I caught them in this embrace. It lasted long enough for me to get my camera and snap a few pics.



His face may look a little devilish, but this is his, "Oh sissy, are you ok? Do you want your Bubbas? Sweet Tessie Mayes" face. (Say that in a very soft baby talk voice and you will get the full effect.)

And Sunday as we headed out to lunch, I found him happily putting her sandals on her.

Sweet boy. I am the luckiest momma on the planet!

Dear producers of "The Hills,"

Hi,
It's Coco here, and there are a few things that we need to discuss.


First of all, I would like to say, I am a HUGE fan of the entire, "Laguna Beach/The Hills" dynasty. Love it. I haven't missed a show yet. And I have seen most of them four times or more. Yes, I know I am 34 years old, but I have no life.

In fact, when Tess was a newborn, one of her feedings was at 3 am. Did this bother me? Not at all. Why, you ask? Because at 3 am, reruns of old "Lagunas" were on. It made my night, and I was actually was a bit sad when those 3am feedings were over.

With that being said, what the hell is up with Heidi and Spencer. I hate them and hope to GOD that you don't give them their own show. They are fake, they are phony and they are TERRIBLE actors. If they get their own show it will be feeding their enormous weird creepy egos!!!

I understand Lauren is leaving, and as sad as that makes me, I understand. But give Audrina, and Lo a show, they can act! And Brody is just hot as shit, so he can do as he pleases.

Heidi is sick and made up like a Barbie doll every second of the show, I can't bear to watch. Look at the attached photo, MTV "The Hills" producers! Who in God's name "lounges" like that in their bikini during a vacation? Who? Heidi, that is who! Tell me the little strumpette didn't know the paparazzi was hiding being a sand dune!

While relaxing in Colorado with her parents last week, the bitch was standing on their balcony wearing a jaunty little hat with a feather in it, a grey wool caplet, skin tight skinny jeans, and killer knee high boots. Her makeup was flawless, her bleached blond tendrils were perfectly cascading down her shoulders. Having a relaxing morning at your parents, Heidi? Are you for real? SO ANNOYING!!!!!

Oh, and can we talk about Spencer's facial hair.

Well, it looks like blond pubic hair on his face. And I seriously can't be the first person that has written y'all regarding his pubic hair goatee.

Also, Spencer smacks when he eats. Like bad. So bad that I have had to change the channel during eating scenes, on more than one occasion. It is terrible. My three, almost four year old has better table manners than this douche bag.

I would also like to address the plastic surgery that has gone on in the past several years. With Heidi (It doesn't look to me that Lauren has had any procedures.) But DDDAAAAMMMNNNN, Heidi sure has.

Now Momma wants bigger boobies like the next girl. But let's use our better judgement and not get triple D's on someone that might weigh 100 lbs.

And her lips? Really? Amazing that in one season they plumped up into a big fat Angelina Jolie pout. That is truly a wonder. STOP IT! STOP THE MADNESS.

So I am asking you, MTV "The Hills" producers. Please, get Heidi and Spencer off of this show. My loyalty is waining. My irritation is growing stronger. And you really don't want me to start writing you letters in real life now do you?

Because I will. Just ask Tyra Banks.

Sincerely,
Coco

Bestill my heart.....

Here is the picture of the kids from the Easter shoot a few weeks ago. I bought an 18x20 of it, and put it in the corner of the master bedroom.

I love it!


Look at those lashes, like fur.

I decided to put it next to my chair and ottoman.

And in case you are wondering, the top picture to the left is a pencil drawing of my Aunt holding Tess, and my mother leaning over kissing Tess on the head. My cousin's boyfriend drew my name at Christmas, fortunately for me, he is an amazing artist! It is priceless.

The picture below that is what was on Tess' birth announcement and our 2007 Christmas card. My favorite until this new one was taken.

I wish I had some photography talent. Sigh.

The week the world became a better place.....

Otherwise known as, my birthday week!

Let the celebrations begin! April 23, 1975 was the best day of my parents lives. Yes, a few years later my brother was born, but whatever, he had a normal birth and was a big fat baby.

Me? Not me. I was early and very sick. In true Coco form I had to enter the world full of drama and wanted all eyes on ME!

This week is going to be great. I love my birthday. And I don't mind turning 34.

I still get carded for booze.

SO, this week being my birthday celebration week, I am granting all my bloggie friends something very special.

A CALORIE FREE WEEK!!! You can eat and drink to your hearts content and it DOESN'T COUNT! Go ahead, indulge.

If a full week is a little much, how about Thursday being calorie free? Sounds good, no?

chili cheese fritos = nutrition

chili: chili has meat in it, meat has lots of protein

cheese: cheese is dairy, dairy has calcium

frito corn chip: corn is a vegetable, corn has lots of beta-carotene

Random picture Friday....

I can't believe it is Friday! It is so rainy and yucky here, I tried to convince Hubby to play hooky but he is such a party pooper.

My first class is tomorrow, a birthday party tomorrow night, and then a whole bunch of nothin' on Sunday.

I am having a bit of anxiety about leaving the Hubby home with the kids ALL DAY LONG tomorrow.

No, it isn't he and the kids I'm worried about. It is the condition my house is going to be in. Hubby isn't the tidiest fellow on the planet and I am a touch ocd. Maybe I can get our housekeeper to come over and clean up after everyone?

Let's start the show......


Here is prissy pris helping fill the eggs.

Grandkid soup! All four of the cousins in the rub a dub tub.

Fishing in our pond.

Please notice the fork in one hand. And the spaghetti in another.

My gorgeous girl. I want to eat her up!!!!!!

Y'all have a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious weekend!!

It really is pathetic

I am currently studying for my Texas EC-4 test. This will certify me to teach Pre-k through 4th grade.

The English/reading section was a breeze. I enjoyed everything that I reviewed and saw it as just that, a review.

Now I am in the math section. If you have been reading my blog for awhile, you will know that math is my weakest, weakest, weakest...... I can't think of the word. I am just TERRIBLE at math.

I was always in advanced placement classes. In 2nd grade, I was at such a high reading level, that I got to go to a special class (with Ms.Dukes, our librarian)to read material at my super smart level.

This was not the case in math. In fact, I was in remedial math with special needs kids. And I barely passed.

At Tech, I had a remedial Algebra with a bunch of football players. And I barely passed.

SO, the math section of my studying isn't going that well.

My eyes are glazing over, my palms are getting sweaty, my heart is racing. I even threw up in my mouth a little as soon as I saw the word, "fractions."

I am terrified my math "problem" is going to cause me to fail the test. Or even worse, what if I do pass and the only teaching job I can get is like, 2nd or 3rd grade? I am not even close to being at the 2nd and 3rd grade level in math.

These kids will be screwed. Big time.

Oh, the pressure is too much! Maybe I should stick to this stay at home mom gig, where the only kids I can screw up are my own.

Notice anything different?

My Paul Newman baby HAD to get a haircut.

Chasing an almost 4 year old around with a bottle of "No More Tangles" was giving me shin splints.

I think he looks simply dashing!



On another note, go over to visit Shannie. She is having a one year anniversary give away. A fabulous bottle of wine and a darling wine cooler/holder is to be won.....by me.

Shannie is a riot and you won't be disappointed.

I remember the first time she commented here, I was so super excited because she is one of the funniest moms out there and I thought she was super cool.

We would be fast friends in the real world, this I am certain.

So go check her out and leave some comment love. Tell her Coco sent you!

Easter pics

Here are the Easter pics. And then I have to study! And plant the Gerber daisies in my front flower bed. And pic Bram up from mother's day out. And finish folding clothes. And go for a run.

All the grandkids at Maggie and Poppy's (hubby's dad and stepmom). They have a big Easter egg hunt and it is lots of fun.

Here is Tess barking at Maggie's dog, Champ. Tess barks at all animals. Whether they be a cat, bird, chicken, monkey, or caterpillar. She is smart but a little slow in this area.

Big Mama helping her lady find eggs.

Happy baby girl and her mother's fat arm.

There are very few pictures of Bram because he was like lightening searching for his Easter goodies.
I got a few blurs but that is really about it.

Here is cousin Chase first thing Easter morning. I think he is high from the 7 am Peeps.

Daddy and his girl.

Eating spilled jelly beans off the ground. Instead of saying, "no, sister, that is yucky!" I took a picture and let her enjoy herself.

Then I freaked out about them being a choking hazard and made her spit them out.

Here is Bram in all of his Easter hunting glory!!!

It was a glorious day and a lot of fun. I can't wait for next year.

p.s. She didn't wear the dress Iddy made her because I didn't want her to mess it up. Since it is bishop cut, it was long and I knew we would be outside and she would step all over it.

She will however, be wearing it to a huge birthday party this weekend!!!!

You might be a redneck if.....

You and your family have hours of fun playing in Mikey's snake boots! YeeeeHaaawwww!!!!

Praise the Lord for Microfiber!!

I was a busy bee all day yesterday. The house is now in order, healthy groceries are in the fridge, and my car is tidy and vacuumed.

I am now off the OCD ledge. Without booze or pills.

Tess has a doctor's appointment this morning, her eczema has been TERRIBLE so we are seeing an allergist. This said appointment will be delaying the Easter pics a bit. They are nothing special.

You actually could just photoshop my kids heads on your kids heads and have the exact same Easter pictures. But I know the grandparents are dying for some Bram and Tess beauty so I will work on those this afternoon.

Anyhoo, the main purpose of this particular post is to say:
IF YOU HAVE SMALL CHILDREN, YOU MUST RUN, NOT WALK, TO YOUR NEAREST FURNITURE STORE AND PURCHASE A COUCH MADE IN MICROFIBER!!!!!!!

Bram, Tess, Chase and Hank did a number on my coach. Bright blue Peeps and chocolate bunnies were involved. I went to scrubbin' yesterday and my couch looks brand new.

Promise. It really does.

Trust me, you will thank me later.

Coco + confetti eggs =

OCD overload. Lots of vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, and laundry today!

Only one day last week without visitors, so I am putting everything back together today.

But good Lord, please remind me next year that confetti eggs are a horrible idea.

Not so random Good Friday pictures....

Another crazy weekend in Cocoland. But a fun one!

My dad had to look at a ranch in South Texas (he is a lease broker, I think Amber will be the only one that knows what that is!), so he was dropped off here last night after his trip to Laredo. My mom is heading up today and then the two of them are going home tomorrow. And my parents here is always a good time.

This morning my dad and Hubby got up at 4am to go fishing. Which is odd that he can't hear a newborn baby screaming for food at 4am but that alarm goes off to go fishing or hunting and he shoots right out of bed and out the door.

But I digress. Tomorrow, Bram has a bowling birthday party to attend for one of his best buddies. After that, Lacey, Burns and the boys are heading in our direction for a wedding. Hank and Chase will be staying with us! So it will be crazy. Good crazy, but crazy.

Church Sunday morning, and then over the Hubby's dad's house for a HUGE Easter egg hunt and lots of food and wine for me!

Aunt Nicole dropped two darling Easter baskets for the kids and stayed and had dinner with us.


Look at these cookies she made! How gorgeous. And they are delicious too. I wasn't going to eat them because they are so pretty, but I can't pass up a good sugar cookie.

Bram had his school party. Look at that hair. He says he wants to cut it to be, "like Hank." I want to grow it even longer for the summer. Why didn't Tess get this hair?

Here are the buckets that Aunt Nicole made. They were already in the bathtub last night!!!

Tess enjoying a sugar cookie. Please note Bram's socks in the background. A huge hole in the toe. He put these socks on to help him with his spinning dance moves.

And he's OFF!!!! Bram was a mad man during his school Easter egg hunt. Lots of eggs and LOTS of sugar consumed yesterday. Can you say hyper?

Hubby and Mikey took him fishing in the pond behind our house last night and I swear it was like watching somebody on speed. He was running to and fro in warped speed.

SO, Hubby and my dad are about to return from fishing and then we are heading to the square for lunch. I really want a margarita. That isn't sacrilegious or anything is it?

Y'all have a happy, wonderful, family filled Easter weekend.

I believe that children are our future....

I am getting VERY excited about my new adventure as a teacher. I take my EC-4 test on May 6, start my classes on April 18 and hopefully will have a job by June. Fingers crossed.

I have been studying and love every thing that I am learning. Love it! I was born to do this! And yes teachers reading this, I WANT TO TEACH KINDERGARTEN!

Badly.

But the one thing that I have been struggling with is this.

What "look" do I want to have as a teacher? It has been plaguing my thoughts. Keeping me up at night, and running through my dreams when I actually do sleep.

Being out of the work force for 4 years, I have no "work" clothes. And not to brag or anything, but when I was working I was a size 8 and now I am a 4 or a 6. Hold on, let me pat myself on the back....

OK, I'm back.

SO, this clothing issue was a big one. I wanted cute, comfortable, and I want to have a signature teaching look. Thanks to J. Crew, problemo solved.

I am going to go with the preppy teacher look. Dresses, cardigans and ballet flats. How cute am I going to be?



I might screw up a bunch of kids, but I am going to look GOOD doing it!

Strawberry Fields forever....

SO, after dropping of Satan at mothers day out yesterday, we headed to the famous Bluebonnet Cafe for a big breakfast before the Strawberry Patch.

It was a girl's day. And we all agreed, much more quiet without the hell boy involved. God love him.

Sydney is a HUGE animal lover. She named this goat, Cooper. It is precious to see her love for all animals. I am willing to bet she is going to be a Youth minister or a vet when she grows up.

That was kind of like comparing animals to kids huh?

Take a look at Tess' dirty fanny. She had a blast.

Susan and Tess picking berries.

It was so nice to have Susan and Sydney visit us.

A perfect, relaxed evening and day.

Minus the fact that Bram tore his room up and threw 500 temper tantrums.

This was what Sydney ordered at the Bluebonnet. YUMMY! Susan made her eat eggs before she dove into this homemade deliciousness. Of course, the cinnamon roll was untouched and brought home for later.

Coco and Sydney. Sorry about my ugliness. No make up and dirty hair. Shut up, we were going to be in the dirt! I had to look the part!

SO, if you are ever out in the beautiful Texas Hill Country, spring or fall, I highly recommend taking your kiddos to pick strawberries or pumpkins. A cheap fun time for the family!

And thanks for visiting Susan and Sydney. I love you both!!