Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Dear producers of "The Hills,"


Hi,
It's Coco here, and there are a few things that we need to discuss.


First of all, I would like to say, I am a HUGE fan of the entire, "Laguna Beach/The Hills" dynasty. Love it. I haven't missed a show yet. And I have seen most of them four times or more. Yes, I know I am 34 years old, but I have no life.

In fact, when Tess was a newborn, one of her feedings was at 3 am. Did this bother me? Not at all. Why, you ask? Because at 3 am, reruns of old "Lagunas" were on. It made my night, and I was actually was a bit sad when those 3am feedings were over.

With that being said, what the hell is up with Heidi and Spencer. I hate them and hope to GOD that you don't give them their own show. They are fake, they are phony and they are TERRIBLE actors. If they get their own show it will be feeding their enormous weird creepy egos!!!

I understand Lauren is leaving, and as sad as that makes me, I understand. But give Audrina, and Lo a show, they can act! And Brody is just hot as shit, so he can do as he pleases.

Heidi is sick and made up like a Barbie doll every second of the show, I can't bear to watch. Look at the attached photo, MTV "The Hills" producers! Who in God's name "lounges" like that in their bikini during a vacation? Who? Heidi, that is who! Tell me the little strumpette didn't know the paparazzi was hiding being a sand dune!

While relaxing in Colorado with her parents last week, the bitch was standing on their balcony wearing a jaunty little hat with a feather in it, a grey wool caplet, skin tight skinny jeans, and killer knee high boots. Her makeup was flawless, her bleached blond tendrils were perfectly cascading down her shoulders. Having a relaxing morning at your parents, Heidi? Are you for real? SO ANNOYING!!!!!

Oh, and can we talk about Spencer's facial hair.

Well, it looks like blond pubic hair on his face. And I seriously can't be the first person that has written y'all regarding his pubic hair goatee.

Also, Spencer smacks when he eats. Like bad. So bad that I have had to change the channel during eating scenes, on more than one occasion. It is terrible. My three, almost four year old has better table manners than this douche bag.

I would also like to address the plastic surgery that has gone on in the past several years. With Heidi (It doesn't look to me that Lauren has had any procedures.) But DDDAAAAMMMNNNN, Heidi sure has.

Now Momma wants bigger boobies like the next girl. But let's use our better judgement and not get triple D's on someone that might weigh 100 lbs.

And her lips? Really? Amazing that in one season they plumped up into a big fat Angelina Jolie pout. That is truly a wonder. STOP IT! STOP THE MADNESS.

So I am asking you, MTV "The Hills" producers. Please, get Heidi and Spencer off of this show. My loyalty is waining. My irritation is growing stronger. And you really don't want me to start writing you letters in real life now do you?

Because I will. Just ask Tyra Banks.

Sincerely,
Coco

16 comments:

Angry Julie Monday said...

OMG, you are cracking my shit up.

I'm watching this trash right now. Seriously, Heidi and Spencer with his flesh colored pubic hair beard freak me out. The acting is AWFUL.

Heidi looks airbrushed 24/7.

They need to go!!

starnes family said...

Angry Julie said it.....as The Soup does.....Spencer's Creepy Flesh Colored Beard. Love it.

And, I'm all for those two jackasses having their own show. It's like a train wreck with good lighting, makeup and lots of "improvements".

One more thing....I lounge like that in my bikini on vacation. You got a prob?

The Soladay Family said...

They are one of the main readon I quit watching! Freaking annoying!

Soxy Deb said...

And that's why I stopped watching it. Too much of the too fake.

Carrie Darney said...

Casey...crack me up. I can totally see you llounging like that in the snow in colorado telling the kids to keep it down! ha!

Why oh why do I watch that show. I don't get it...it's like Crack...well, I guess it is...never really tried crack...should I? Wait, no...getting off the point now.

I hate when Spencer hears something he dosn't want to hear and it's like his eyeballs pop out of their sockets! and those TEETH! Geez chicklets! Get those chompers under control!

Sassy Cass said...

Seriously, wth is she doing in that picture? I think you should totally send this to MTV. Better yet lnk 'em to your blog.:)

Heather said...

Preach it sister! You are dead on. Love that post! I hate Heidi and Spencer.

p.s. please post your tyra banks letter!

Something In The Glass said...

Atta girl, you're speaking my language.

I'm glad I'm not the only 30-something with a pathethic obsession with this show. Seriously, I could talk about these people for hours....

If the shoe FITZ said...

I watch too and so does the hubby. We laugh our butts off at Speidi!
Stephanie Pratt totally had work done too.

I am not sure about Audrina getting her own show...it'll be BORING and about her and Justin Bobby...but I am sure I will still watch!

Live.Love.Eat said...

Hmmmmm, I don't care for Spencer or his pubic hair face either.

The Rand's said...

I am so glad that I'm not the only one that watches 'The Hills!' My hubby thinks I'm nuts! But I'm addicted!
Spencer is awful! I have to change the channel when he is on sometimes b/c he makes my skin crawl!
You're right, Heidi and Spencer should go! And no new show should happen for them!

FROGGITY! said...

the worst thing about the whole spencer (or as i call him: sphincter)thing lately is that stupid bartender.

AS IF they didn't know who the hell spencer and heidi were? yeah right. my big ol' butt.

i think she pratt has had a LOT of surgery recently. have you seen her nose? whatupwitdat?

Deelsu said...

Too funny! I've watched for years too but have died down on the watching this season.
Yes, Heidi and Spencer are OUT OF CONTROL!! She is TOTALLY made up all the time and full of herself.

As for the plastic surgery.. I think Audrina has had her boobs done too and good God she needs to mix in a hamburger. So flippin skinny!

Michelle said...

DITTO! Can't stand them. So fake.
I love Stephen from Laguna. He is my all time fav.

Monica Clift said...

Just heard that Speidi is going to be on another reality show on NBC where celebrities are left on their own in the jungle....one of their castmates is Sanjaya....enought said. Aren't they getting married this weekend?

I love them...they are such a hot mess!

I'm with you Coco, Brody is yummy with a spoon :)

morewineplease said...

Answer me this please... ARE THEY REALLY CONSIDERING GIVING THOSE 2 A SHOW????!!! NO F'ing way! I will boycott that shit. I hate spencer! I am on the fence with Heidi... when she is hating on SPencer I like her... my goodness she does look air brushed constantly good call!