Freaky Friday on Saturday

We just returned home from Snyder, Texas after celebrating a glorious long holiday weekend.

Thanksgiving was wonderful and we had a ball. My kids are plum worn out. I will post pics when I figure out where my camera case is.

So on with Freaky Friday random thoughts on Saturday (which will be changed to "Random thoughts by Coco, from here on out. Just a heads up):

1) My kids talk a lot in cars, and whoever taught Bram the "animal game?" Consider yourself dead to me.

2) My husband turns into a lazy 16 year old at his mother's. I don't mind at all but it is crazy how much he lays on the couch to watch football and naps 5 times a day. AFTER waking up VERY late. And it sucks because you have to keep your chewing out at a minimum at the in-laws.

3) I realized in the shower this morning it had been awhile since I had cleaned my belly button, like a while a while. I can't touch my belly button because it creeps me out and it is connected to something in my stomach that feels funny when I touch it. Therefore, I prefer to clean out my belly button with a soft bristle toothbrush rather than the standard Q-tip. I didn't have my belly button brush with my in Snyder so I had to use a Q-tip.

I almost fainted in the shower. And I am feeling weird just typing about the experience.

4) I drank wine all weekend and just sent Hubs to the grocery store for a bottle.

What? It's Saturday night and I have a table to refinish.

Annnnnnddddddd I like my wine.

5) There is a certain 2 year old living in our house that is going to have some eye brow issues in about a year. This is NOT from my side of the family, as I have beautiful eyebrows. I am just VERY grateful that Hubby's little sister is an esthetician and she will fo'sho' be taking care of this problemo on the down low.

6) Regarding #5, don't get me wrong, her eyebrows are GORGEOUS but are getting bigger and puffier by the day. I say let's nip it in the bud before the kids at preschool start calling her Grover.

7) I think I am retaining a lot of water right now. Gross. And gross.

8) Martha gets carsick. Every time she is in a car. I almost vomited today when she puked something that I didn't recognize. You know the kind of gag that lingers? Where you stand there with your mouth open and wait for your gag reflex to decide which way it wants to go? That happened to me. In a McDonalds parking lot.

How awful would that be to be sitting there ordering your filet o'fish or McRib and then look over and see some beat down mom in yoga pants, an old long sleeve Willie Nelson t-shirt, no make up and dirty hair puking out the window of a filthy Tahoe?

Pretty awful, if you ask me.

9) People told me that throw up wouldn't bother me at all when it was my own kid's puke.

Am I a bad mom? Because it still grosses me out to no end. I have caught it in my hand, had my hair thrown up in, slipped in it, wiped it off of bodies and mouths, put cold rags on foreheads and such like every good mom, but as soon as they are old enough, they are cleaning that shit up themselves. I gag every single time.

Lucky for me, Tess has puked once and Bram only a handful of times.

Knock on wood.

Son of a bitch! Should I delete #4?

Great.

Now both kids are going to wake up with throw up coming from one end and diarhea coming from the other.

Dag gummit!

10) I love McRibs from McDonalds. Ummmmm-ummmmmm good. And as much as folks make fun of me regarding this delicacy, I am clearly not the only sad soul ordering this tasty delight since it goes on the menu several times a year.

11) The filet o'fish was my meal of choice from McDonald's as a child. What eight year old eats filet o'fish from McDonald's? Did my mom find this strange?

I honestly think I would be embarrassed to order something that jacked up for my kid. Did she stand behind me while I was ordering with her hands and her eyebrows raised like, "Did that little girl just order a filet o' fish with extra tarter sauce? What??? Weird." You know what I mean. Like shaking her head and acting like she totally didn't know me to the lady taking my order?

I bet she did. I wonder if she would fess up about how she handled it.

I'm going to call Tessie now and see how far she stood from me at the counter .

OR maybe she would only go to the drive-thru if I was in the car with her. Then the McDonald's employee, taking our order, would think it was for her or maybe my grandpa or a neighbor. OR would think that maybe she was just being charitable and buying it for a homeless person. It could be for anybody if you go through the drive thru, the possibilities are endless.

I am certain that is what she did. The drive thru.

12) These days I prefer just a cheeseburger and fries. Simple. Classic.

13) My brother and I would beat the crap out of each other over chicken mcnuggets. It is a looonnnngggg story but it happened most Wednesday nights, the only night we got fast food, and that was only if my dad was out of town. Bryan is a tad bit weirder than I am. So the messed up head games we played with one another over nuggets was off the charts kid weird. Cuckoo for Coco puffs. Weird.

14) This sums up all the thoughts I have had in 10 minutes. A lot of McDonald talk. Strange.

OK, going to unpack and continue working on my kitchen table.

Ta-ta for now. I hope everyone had a delightful Thanksgiving!