Friday, November 20, 2009

Let's see where this goes.....

First, I must say that the lack of pictures of my gorgeous children, Damion and Reagan, are because the Hubs let his step brother take our camera AND $700 long lens to Kansas for his hunting trip.


I am dying without my camera because Damion and Reagan do some funny stuff up in here. The camera will be back tonight so there will be pictures galore of my chickens next week.

Second, I have decided that on Fridays I am going to just list the things that pop in my head as I am writing this. I will name it "Freaky Friday" soooo original. No?

Here we go:

1) I have a date with
Mrs. Mack on Sunday. We are going to have lunch and 'ritas and then head over to see New Moon. I might have to punch her in the eye if she makes any comments whatsoever about you know who not being a sex kitten. I don't like to punch and would hate to punch her. She has skin like Snow White. Beautiful. A black eye would be very noticeable.

2) Bram just called Martha the F-word. Nice. I just put him in time out. Do I wash his mouth out with soap? This may come as a shock to most, but I think this might be the first time I have heard him say the F-word.

I know? Right.

3) I really want to start getting my Christmas decor out. Not put it up, just get it out to go through and see what I have. Yet, I feel SOOOO sorry for Thanksgiving this year I can't do it. Poor Thanksgiving. If I were Thanksgiving, I would be feeling alone, isolated and insecure.

4) This Christmas Hubby and I are starting a new tradition (or I told Hubby that we were starting this new tradition). Since the baby Jesus received three gifts from the wisemen, my kids will each get three presents from Santa. The stockings will be from Mommy and Daddy. I think this is a beautiful idea.

Last year, I started buying crap just to make it look like they had "more." Really? They don't play with half of it, and they have grandparents that take them each "toy shopping" every time they see them. Last Sunday I gave away SIX bags of toys, which is silly and wasteful.

So this is my new plan. I think it is a good one. I just put a call in to the North Pole to give Santa the heads up. I didn't write the name of the elf I spoke with, hopefully Santa gets the message.

5) Santa is bringing Bram a drum set. I think Santa is crazy and may drink too much.

6) I am getting so excited for my trip to KC. A little nervous about the drive. I can do it, I know I can! GO COCO!

7) Bram told me the other day that when babies are in Heaven, waiting to go into the Mommy's tummy, that the babies dance and sing all day with Jesus. You can get him to talk about this subject for hours, heaven and being in my tummy that is. His memory of Heaven and my tummy are starting to get a little foggy but dancing with Jesus is the "reason he likes to dance" and why he "loves Michael Jackson so much." Jesus loves a little MJ. Who knew?

8) Speaking of MJ. My kids still aren't tired of him. At. All. In fact, Bram has branched out from your typical, "Beat It" and "Bad" to "Dirty Diana." I didn't even know that song existed. But I now know every word.

9) Depeche Mode is also becoming a Coco car favorite.

10) Hearing your two year old sing, "Master and Servant" is a bit disturbing.

11) Whoever sent my precious angel, Tess, the instruction manual on how to behave like a two year old? Please see #1. I will go after you like a spider monkey if I find out who you are. You may want to start sleeping with one eye open.

12) I have a weird thing going on in my head right now. I keep thinking that somebody has read my blog and my RPat letters and Oprah got a hold of them. And she is going to have RPat surprise me by knocking on my door or surprising me on the feminine hygiene aisle of our grocery store. And I am going to be like, "SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON!" All the people in the store will be laughing and clapping and then RPat and I will go to Chili's for some nachos and an el Presidente. And I will be all, "Thank you Oprah!" waving to the camera, and her audience will laugh and clap as the segment ends. Oprah will then say, "Isn't she adorable. Looooveee it!" Then they will go on to the main segment, an exclusive interview with Barry Manilow. But even after the cameras quite rolling, RPat will sign my chest and then be off on a private jet to surprise some girl in Cleveland sitting in her cubicle with RPat posters taped up all over, a stunt for "Entertainment Tonight."

Which is fine with me. I got my 15 minutes of fame. And everyone knows Oprah is WAY bigger and better than "Entertainment Tonight." And I am certain I am WAY prettier than the girl in Cleveland in the cube. No competition.

Moral of my story is, I have been putting on make-up to run errands that I usually don't put on makeup to do. That is how crazy I am. I seriously think this is a possibility. What in the world? Let's just all say a prayer now to thank the 8lb 6oz baby Jesus for Zoloft and box wine.

Could you IMAGINE how much crazier I would be without it? Whew.

13) Since we are talking crazy, when I was pregnant with my kids, I would pretend the paparazzi was following me and I would end up being posted on Needless to say, I had some pretty cute maternity clothes. It made sense in my head, who knew when the pap would pop out at the dry cleaners or pharmacy. I had to look put together.

14) Tessie Mayes has been requesting a bottle lately. I have been giving it to her. Bram quite the bottle at 9 months, so I don't know what is up with this.

Who am I kidding? I am a total enabler, I mean my 4 year old just got off the paci two months ago.

15) Hubby and I have a party to go to in Austin tonight. Dropping kids off with Auntie Abby and the heading to a Thanksgiving get together. Hubby and I will be the only married couple. Things might get a little crazy, and I will take pics. Who wants to make a bet I am the first one asleep tonight?

But not without doing my "Single Ladies" routine first.

16) I have lost 10 lbs. Everything fits again. THANK THE LORD!! But I want to lose another five. The second baby pouch is hard to get rid of. Any suggestions on how to get rid of that sucker?

17) Back to Christmas, what does Santa bring a two year old girl? She is already getting a tiny
trampoline, but what else? I think she would enjoy a car seat for her babies. Any suggestions would be awesome.

18) It is raining today.

19) I had lunch with
Sara and Jen on Tuesday. Liam definitely fits his name but Casey and I are going to call him Bill. Bill is darling. Looks like a tiny little man laying in a carrier. He just stared at Bram the entire lunch. Hopefully, Bill was NOT taking notes on how to act in a restaurant. Reagan and Damion were in rare form that day.
And Mr. Hudson? Sara's little boy, HOLY CUTENESS BATMAN! He totally got high on a tortilla. One minute he is sitting up gnawing on a warm fluffy fresh tort. The next minute he is laid out. I took pictures but left the memory card in Weatherford, so one day you might get to see them.

20) I have been trying really hard to keep in mind what is my "inside voice" vs. my "outside voice." It is difficult to keep them separate and can give me a headache, but it is something that I have needed to work on for some time.

21) Johnny Depp? Are you kidding me? There are no words. No words.

Okey dokey. That is all that has popped in my head this morning. I am cooking a few dishes for tonight's get together. PW's spicy mac and cheese, green beans with almonds, and mini pecan pies. Can't wait!

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

ta-ta for now!


Jillybean said...

Dang girl...that's more than I have time to think about in a WEEK these days!!! I live vicariously through you:-)

The Soladay Family said...

Okay......I don't even know where to begin....That was the most insane post to date!

I laughed OUT LOUD at #10....because I have a few disturbing songs my youngest sings....for instance, "Beer is good, and people are crazy..." Just sounds odd coming out of a 5 year old's mouth....Loved this post!

Carrie Darney said...

Coco, you are just plain great...I love your posts! You never get're cute...and nice...and have cute babies too.

I want you to move to McKinney so that we can hang out more. I too would like to lose 10 pounds. BUT I guess that would involve exercise?! Man, where is my motivation! Ugh

Deelsu said...

Yes, insane is right! Lov eit though! Love the 3 gift thing. Kids have way too much these days...Happy party tonight!

Vintage Junky said...

I am laughing so hard, the Mr and The Baby are looking at me like I am crazy. I have been daydreaming that I write a letter to Rpat and he decides that he needs to come see a 30 year old happily married woman because I am "safe." And I tell him that he could make me "unhappy" very quickly! Oh, I forgot to mention that last night we were apparently in a "Team Jacob" theatre.. all the little girls were screaming when he was shirtless. And, I wanted to tell them to pipe down and give Rob some love too... more for us I guess!
So I totally hijacked your comment section...
Smiles~ Michelle

Sara and Trey said...

Cracking up........ you are too freakin' funny!
I've decided that Hudson and Tessie Mayes will get married some day. I've been thinking about it since our lunch. She'll want to go for a younger man and he'll like the "cougar" aspect. They'll be a powercouple and their name will be: Tesmayson. Just FYI.

Ann said...

Love the Freak Friday and Christmas gift idea. Brilliant!

Congrats on the 10lbs, both happy for you and hating you at the same time.

starnes family said...

What. The. Hell.

Live.Love.Eat said...

Holy cow. You had me until #16 or so, and I may have skipped over #12entirely but that is way more than most people would have me at. But you're hilarious so you get my attention.

Um, great idea on Xmas gifts. The ones we tell Tristan are from Santa don't even get under the tree until the morning of. So next Friday I will make sure to have wine in my hand for your next FF post! :) Have an awesome weekend you 10lb losing bee-atch!

MamaSue said...

Wow! That's wore me out! I am certain that you don't need to lose 5 more pounds.

The Jones Family said...

I agree... to it all!

Julie said...

Caden was playing with K'Nex last night and couldn't get something right...he said under his breath, "son of a bitch, this toy is crap"...

Do I win mom of the year?

Happy 10 pounds loss to you, I'm quite jealous right now. I think I shall hate you for umm 10 minutes. One minute for every pound.

Kristin said...

9 months??? Wow. The dude is almost 17 mos. and digging in his heels with the bottle!

The Lenzers said...

i needed a laugh today!! Thanks. We do the 3 gift thing from SC cause thats what Jesus got. Works well, we all have to much crap already!!

greygillfish said...

I spent a lot of time wondering who the heck RPAT is??? I seriously was envisioning some rapper with Oprah. LOL!

Obviously, I haven't read or seen Twilight. Don't intend to. It sounds like it makes people CRAZY! LOL!

Thanks for the laughs this morning. I will look forward to next Friday.

Have a great weekend!

juliarhock said...

I love number 12. I think that we are soul mates.

FROGGITY! said...

cracking. me. up.

good luck with that drum set!!

congrats on the 10 lbs. you'll have to give me your secret in july!

Sassafrass Jane said...

Oh my heavens.

You have officially lost it.

3 gifts?!


JennyMac said...

What a week..and the first F word...uh oh! :)

Merry Mack said...

Yes, my lily white skin bruise by looking at it so I will be on my best behavior. However, I hit back

I am looking forward to it and as usually you have me crying with tears.

I love your ability to not hold back.

morewineplease said...

I am with on on the JDepp thing.. WTH? Also with you on many many other things here... I keep waiting on my handsome vamp to walk through my office door with that crooked smile, and shut the door behind him.. the rest I am keeping to myself!
I will be in Austin some time this year to see my BIL... we must hook up!