Monday, January 18, 2010

Things I never once thought I would say.

I have composed a short list of things I have said, sentences that I had no idea were even sentences until I had children. Words put together that I never, for the life of me, imagined would come out of my mouth. They are as followed.

#1 actually just came out of my mouth.....

1) Don't lick the fireplace.

2) No, it isn't okay to pee-pee on the dog.

3) Bram, you can't honk girl's boobies.

4) Tess, those are your brother's undies, why don't we put your princess panties on?

5) An entire roll of toilet paper does NOT need to be used to wipe your hiney, I'm teaching you to use the plunger.

6) Those are NOT Numchuks! (as Bram comes in with two unwrapped tampons, whipping them around by the strings.)

7) Bram, go smell your sister and let me know if she is poop.

8) You can't eat bugs! It is never okay. Spit it out. Now.

9) Hi, Poison Control. It's me again......

10) You do not have to announce every single time you touch your penis. Please.

Yep. Some crazy shenanigans up in here. Loving every second of it. Sad thing is, I am serious, I have called Poison Control more than I care to admit.

But because I want to share the information, the following things ingested by a small child, are not going to kill anyone, but still call your local Poison Control:

1) a cigarette butt

2) ibuprofen

3) chalk

4) Desitan

5) baby oil

6) Aquaphor

7) a candle

8) the little packets of silicon that come in shoe boxes and such.

Nice, huh? And a majority of those were consumed by my pretty little princess tangeriene.

Oh, the joys of motherhood. Spent mostly with your tail between your legs.

SO, Hubby is off today, hopefully the weather will cooperate and we can spend most of the day outside. Nothing planned. We had a great weekend. I had a fabulous weekend.

I jetted off on Saturday to Lake LBJ to meet up with two of my girlfriends. It was a lot of fun, very relaxing. The lakehouse belongs to my friend, Tiffany's family. It was built in the late 60's/early 70's and seriously, has not been updated since. Which is awesome.

While I was going tinkle in the downstairs bathroom, I noticed that the pulls on the bathroom cabinets are AWESOME, so very Coco. Bright green enamel. VERY 70's. And since I am redoing my kitchen cabinets white and adding pulls.......light bulb went off!

I asked Tiffany if I could have them. She called her mother and I am now the proud owner of 40 year old bright green enamel pulls for my kitchen. I just have to go get them and replace them with some basic Home Depot variety. I am oddly excited!!!! It's the little things.

Everyone have a fabulous Monday off.

ta-ta for now.


starnes family said...

You're quite the house guest.

"Hi. Thanks for having me. Can I start dismantling your cabinets?"

Loved the list of quotes. You'll look back and laugh one day. Good stuff.

Somethings Gotta Give said...

Your "Things I never once thought I would say" was the perfect beginning to my day. Too Funny!! As someone who doesn't have children yet, those lines were too much. Love your sense of humor. Thanks for sharing.

Have a blessed Monday!

greygillfish said...

And this is why I look forward to reading every morning! #2 and #3 are my faves. Hysterical!!!!!

Enjoy your day with the fam! I wish I was home with mine.

Sara and Trey said...

Hilarious. I need to compiling a list too. The licking the fireplace is great. I have to say that to Hudson at least 3 times a day. Nice.

Lake LBJ....Ah...memories! I went to Camp Champions on that lake. Love it.

Have a fun day with the fam!

Momma to the A's said...

I am still laughing! Oh things we say! I even find myself saying things my parents said, which I swore would NEVER happen!

Have a great day with your family! Hope you guys get to do some fun stuff!

FROGGITY! said...


stop licking the fireplace.

it makes complete sense to me, that's what's scary... oh the joys of being a mom!

Kristin said...

I'm loving the idea of bright green! And honking boobies??? Ah ha ha ha

The Jones Family said...

That's a great idea; I need to keep track of the things that get said to these two freaks here!

The Rand's said...

Funny stuff!

Enjoy your day with your family!

BrownEyedGirlsMom said...

You're pretty productive on the potty aren't you?? I use #7 all the time and ask Chatty to check on Bia! Love the tampon numchucks! I agree that Bram and Chatty together would make most heads spin! Love this post!

The Soladay Family said...

I cannot wait to see what your creative self does with your kitchen! I am sure it will be fabulous!

Shannon said...

I usually assume my kids will go to prison for some of the things they've tried to do. Your sentences make me feel like I'm not alone in some of the weirdness that goes on in the house.

I think you're partially responsible for me being very open to color in the house now. Look forward to experimenting with it.

Vintage Junky said...

hilarious! And score on the pulls! Photos please!


Merry Mack said...

So funny. I am glad you remembered these to share with us. I also can't believe you talked your friend's mom into letting you take her pulls, but what a score for you!

Deelsu said...

awesome.. post a picture of the pulls.. gotta see.
Maybe you can get one of those pea green or mustard yellow fridges that all of our parents used to own in the 70s ;)

The Rural Socialite said...

Yes, I never thought it would be necessary for me to say, "You'd better put your diaper back on before you get in the pool. If you don't, your wee-wee will sunburn."

My question is: what did the mom do for drawer pulls once you took hers? Maybe you should have also said, "Can I have these diamond earrings, that TV set, and also your car?"

starnes family said...

I'll add one to your list.

Today at the Zoo I had to tell Lainey to stop licking the trash can. There was snow melting on it, so she thought she'd swipe a taste.


Live.Love.Eat said...

Poison's me again. Wow.

You have them in speed dial don't you????

morewineplease said...

your killing me!
I've got a few of those crazy lines too.
"don't pick your sisters nose"
"your chookie (female private) is NOT a TOY, stop it!"