Dear Kiddie Beauty Pageant Moms,

Hi. I am sitting here folding clothes while my bald, snot nosed, super cute daughter naps and came upon, "Little Beauties:Ultimate Kiddie Queen" on VH1. How I love watching these "documentaries," it makes me feel like I am somewhat normal.

It is very interesting. And honestly I don't really have a lot to say about it but "WOW."

But one thing I have always wanted to ask is, have any of you ladies noticed that there is virtually NO AUDIENCE watching your kids perform? Nobody is there to enjoy the show except, OTHER PAGEANT MOMS!
And sad pageant dads that have to be super creeped out watching their 4 year old wearing dentures and looking like a Def Leopard 1983 video vamp.

So why do you spend thousands and thousands of dollars to enter these pageants, buy those tacky dresses, fake hair, fake teeth, spray tans, bobble head dancing lessons, and royal blue eyeshadow?

For free you could just dress her up and have her perform in her baby bikini right there in your living room.

Seriously, just call up Mamaw and Papaw and have them come over to enjoy the show. Maybe charge them a small fee and you might come out ahead. Think about it.

This is just my advise because I kind of feel sorry for you and just want to help.

Carry on,

Coco